


It's You, Too

by KoboldKing



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Guilt, Light On Shipping Till Later On, Nonbinary Chara (Undertale), Nonbinary Frisk (Undertale), Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Body, references to trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-26 07:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoboldKing/pseuds/KoboldKing
Summary: After sharing a body together for two years, Frisk and Chara have settled into their unconventional situation. Frisk controls their body while Chara provides commentary and occasionally bosses them around. But when a frustrating day leads to hurtful words being said, Frisk begins to worry about the fairness of the arrangement.Maybe it's time to start sharing control.
Relationships: Chara/Frisk (Undertale)
Comments: 184
Kudos: 396
Collections: Fanfiction From The Chara Defense Squad, The Fanfic Paradise Discord Collection





	1. Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this note, I assume you are giving this a chance. Thank you!
> 
> All comments are more than welcome. [I can also be found at times on the Fanfic Paradise Discord server, where I have my own channel.](https://discord.gg/eqpAYFC)

Frisk woke up in a panic, and the voice in their head wasn't far behind them.

A cold sweat broke out across their body, heart pounding and their every muscle tensing to run. They were already halfway out of bed before they realized everything was fine. They were in their room, on the surface. Toriel was just down the hall. Everyone was fine. No one was going to hurt them. Not again.

They said these things to themself a few times, shaking and uncomfortable. They were safe. They were _safe._ That didn't make the feeling of danger go away. The imagery of the nightmare was fading fast, but the hands, the darkness, the... _eyes _on the back of their neck...

It didn't help that mornings like this made them feel in double.

Somewhere in the back of their head was another person who'd _also _woken up from a nightmare. They could always sense them; not always as crystal clear as their own feelings were, but always present. It was a bit like seeing shadows through foggy glass. It was clear enough today, though. Chara was scared too.

They wondered idly whose nightmare it had been. They usually shared dreams, and many of the worse flashbacks they had came from bad memories they'd shared together. They had shared the sensation of being run through by dozens of magic spears, and of being burned alive, and of having the life choked out of them by a psychotic flower god... but the nightmares from times they hadn't shared together weren't any better.

Frisk wrapped their arms around themself, taking a long, deep breath. They were _fine. _They were _safe. _Having finished talking to themself, they hesitantly reached out to address Chara.

_"H-Hey. It's okay. We're fine."_

Chara was silent. Technically speaking, so was Frisk. They'd long since perfected a way of talking to each other entirely in their head. They couldn't read each other's thoughts, but they could sort of think vividly at each other in a way that was almost like having a real conversation. Over time they'd even learned how to pick up on each other's tone and feeling. You learned a lot about reading someone when they lived in your head and were never separate from you.

When Chara spoke it was with a crisp, almost cold tone of voice. _"...of course we're fine. It was a just a bad dream, Frisk. You know better than to dwell on them."_

_"Of course I do. But that doesn't change the way we feel. I'm just saying-"_

_"We have already said too much about it. Stop moping like a child and get up. Get ready for school. Being late will not make your day better."_

Frisk felt a spike of frustration at that, but said nothing as they got up and started getting ready. Damn it. They _knew _the other human felt just as freaked out on mornings like this as they did. They were _trying _to comfort them! But Chara just couldn't handle feeling like a child, could they? And they always had to take charge.

Stomping down the stairs they found an empty kitchen, breakfast consisting of a covered pot on the stove appended with a note from Toriel. The note took five paragraphs to explain that due to something or other at school that Frisk didn't care about she needed to leave early. It took another two paragraphs to warn them that while the meal had been carefully prepared with fire magic, they still needed to properly make sure the pot was cool before touching it. They rolled their eyes at their adoptive mother's protectiveness before promptly burning their hands on the stove top.

Adding insult to literal injury the pot was full of oatmeal, which was one of the very few foods in the world that Frisk despised. They wolfed down about half a bowl before irritably setting out on the short walk to school.

_"...and Frisk could tell it was going to be a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day,"_ Chara quipped. It did nothing to improve Frisk's mood, and they furrowed their brow to try to make that point.

_"Don't be like that," _Chara sighed. _"I'm just telling you to stop brooding. It isn't like you."_

_"I'm allowed to be in a bad mood, Chara."_

_"I'm not in a great mood myself,"_ they snapped. _"But being a broody crybaby has never fixed anything."_

_"It's not being a crybaby to think about what you're feeling!"_

Chara sniffed, but didn't have an immediate response. There was a pause as they trudged on before they spoke again, changing the subject. _"Looks like it's going to rain."_

_"Of _course _it is," _Frisk grumbled in response.

_"You should pick up the pace. Last thing we need is to catch another cold."_

_"You're never gonna let that one go, are you?"_

_"You played in the rain for two hours, and for two weeks we couldn't breathe through our nose. I was _convinced_ I was stuck in another deathbed."_

_"Alright, alright, drop it," _Frisk groaned._ "I'm speedrunning my way to school. Are you happy?"_

_"Rarely. But at least you're being reasonable."_

The nerve to talk about being reasonable, from them. Frisk bit their tongue—figuratively speaking—and headed to school.

School did little to improve their day. The sight of their friends _did _cheer them up to some extent. Monster Kid gave them his usual smile and greeting before hurrying off to class. Their human friends like Jenny and Alex had the time to stop and chit-chat briefly, but algebra was thrashing everyone's collective asses and most of them just weren't in the mood to chit-chat. They could feel relief from Chara's side of their brain, which only managed to annoy them further. Chara never wanted to socialize. They'd gotten their way without even having to try today. It wasn't entirely fair, but they added it to their running tally of annoying Chara moments for the day.

_"Algebra's starting."_

_"I _know_ that, Chara."_

_"You're not moving like you know that. You realize Toriel doesn't take it easy on us if we're late or fail."_

_"I know that better than you. I'm the one actually _doing_ the class."_

_"Oh really?" _Chara asked, sounding partially indignant. _""If you're the one always 'doing' the class, why am I always having to re-explain the Distributive Property to you?"_

Frisk plopped themself down in a chair as class begun, barely paying any attention.

_"'Cause I'm stupid, I guess. At least let me fail on my own terms."_

_"You're going to if you keep arguing with me when you should be paying attention."_

_"I-"_

_"Quiet, Frisk. Listen."_

An absolutely seething Frisk sat through algebra with a smug presence in the back of their head. They spent more time in the class meandering through their own angry thoughts than really listening, and were mostly lost when they were given worksheets to fill out before the bell.

Well, what they lacked in mathematical ability they made up for in determination. They plowed through as best they could, and it was distracting from the lingering tension they still felt from this morning.

_"X equals 15?" _Chara asked skeptically. _"No. Read the problem again."_

Aaaand they were back to the tension. Frisk's hand tightened around their pencil, and they stubbornly moved on to the next problem without double checking.

_"You got it wrong," _Chara insisted. _"Go back and do it again."_

Frisk continued to ignore them.

_"Oh, fine. If you are too lazy to do it over again I will just tell you the answer. X equals-"_

_"I'm not changing it."_

_"...why not."_

_"Because I don't have to."_

_"This is childish, Frisk."_

They were pretty sure they knew the answer to the next problem, but they wrote it in wrong anyway to prove a point. Chara's internal groan of frustration filled them with... well, not satisfaction, or even happiness, but _something _that put a thin smile on their face.

_"You make it so very hard to help you."_

_"People should stop trying," _Frisk retorted.

_"What am I supposed to do? Just let you fail?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"No!"_

_"It's my choice!"_

_"Your choices suck ass!"_

_"And yours don't matter! The name on the sheet is 'Frisk.' If Frisk is a failure at algebra, than this sheet is gonna be a failure at algebra. The end. No more arguing."_

Now it was Chara's turn to stew, something in their emotions stinging slightly. Whatever. Frisk grit their teeth and half-assed the rest of their worksheet.

They day progressed the same way its every moment had gone. Frisk dragged their feet from class to class, feeling on edge and irritable. Chara piped down for a little while, but eventually it seemed they couldn't help themself and started 'helping' again. Frisk would rather get stabbed.

Everything about this day made them wish they hadn't gotten out of bed. Everything made them feel angry, stupid, or both. Everything made them want to cry.

But... eventually... the school day ended. That chapter of their day was behind them now, and they could look forward to spending the rest of it with their friends. That always recharged them after a day like this.

The day had even cleared up from its rainy beginnings—maybe they could get some nice outside time in after all. They made their way to a park bench and pulled out their phone, tapping to get into their texting contacts.

They'd done it. They'd made it this far with their sanity intact.

At least until the voice in their head picked another fight.

_"What are you doing?" _Chara asked suddenly, sounding both suspicious and alarmed. _"Are you texting MK?"_

Frisk glared at nothing in particular. Glaring directly at someone who only lived in their head was pretty hard, after all. _"Yeah, I'm texting MK. And I think Jenny and Alex while I'm at it."_

_"You are going to kill us both," _Chara said, tone matter of fact. _"Aren't you stressed enough without trying to cram your social life in on top of everything else?"_

_"What's so stressful about a social life?"_

_"Everything."_

_"Maybe for you," _Frisk said with a huff. _"But for _me _it's relaxing and it's all that's kept me going all day, so I'm _going _to hang out with my friends. Is that okay, your highness?"_

_"I am _not_ royalty," _Chara snapped. _"I just don't want to listen to those brats yelling over each other for the next five hours."_

_"They're not brats. They're all fourteen, just like us."_

_"Well they _act_ four. They're exhausting."_

_"You can just ignore them then. No one's asking you to do anything but let me have my social life!"_

_"I can't just ignore those shrieking gremlins. They press all around us and want to _gossip. _My head's too full of algebra to deal with that."_

Frisk grit their teeth. They always bickered with Chara from time to time, but for some reason today it was more infuriating than usual. _"Stop trying to grade my work in real time and it won't tire you out so bad."_

_"If it's not me pointing out your mistakes it will be remedial math classes. Also, you mean 'so badly.'"_

_"Why are we doing this?" _Frisk was fuming by now, the exhaustion and stress of the day finally getting the better of them. They could feel Chara as a strong stubborn presence in the back of their skull. _"Can't I text my friends without getting judged by a know-it-all ghost?"_

_"Can't we just have a quiet day for once? We need to recharge."_

_"This _is _how I recharge!"_

_"What about me?" _Chara was indignant, maybe even offended, but Frisk ignored them.

_"What about you? You've already had your way about everything else today!"_

_"What?" _Now they sounded outraged. _"How have I had my way about a SINGLE thing today? You make EVERY decision."_

_"As if," _Frisk shot back._"__You make me roll out of bed, you make me rush through breakfast, you treat me like an idiot while I'm trying to work, and now you won't let me hang out with my friends!"_

There was something different about Chara's tone all of a sudden; something new flashing through their emotions. It wasn't just anger, but whatever it was, Frisk had been having too bad of a day to think about it.

_"But—it's not a matter of 'letting' you do anything," _Chara protested. They sounded strange. Upset, even._ "You are in charge. All I can do—literally ALL I can do is try to help you. I thought that's what you wanted. I thought you-"_

_"It's NOT what I want!" _Frisk surprised even themself with the anger in their tone. It wasn't spoken out loud, but it was vivid enough in their mind that they were mouthing the words with their fists curled up in anger. _"I want to do my work without a voice in my head calling me stupid! I want to have a normal life without a voice telling me they need to 'recharge' first! I want to live MY life like I want to live it without having to fucking ask for permission!"_

Chara's emotions were going haywire. They'd never felt this from them before. They'd argued before, obviously, and they expected another internal shouting match. To their surprise—and to their anger, because they _really _wanted to keep venting—Chara's voice was shaking.

_"B-But... I was just... I thought we were here as partners..."_

_"We're NOT partners! This is my life, Chara! You threw yours away!"_

Saying that felt like ripping off a scab. It hurt, and they knew they shouldn't have said it, but in the moment, just for that moment, they didn't care.

They were breathing heavily now. Somewhere deep down they knew that this wasn't really what was bothering them. Their nightmare had started them off high strung today. School had just tightened their nerves, and Chara's commentary, usually a comfort even when they were bickering, had just been the straw that broke the camel's back. That was probably why there wasn't any satisfaction in what they said. They just felt tired, and frustrated, and just wanted to crawl back into bed and _cry_ now.

They waited for a response. For Chara to yell back. For anger. Fury. Instead there was only silence and reeling sensation from deep in their mind. The deafening silence made Chara's emotions almost as loud and obvious as Frisk's own.

Chara was shocked. Chara was hurt. Chara felt as though the environment had just crumbled away around them. It was such a strong feeling it was disorienting. The world almost seemed to be spinning, and Frisk wasn't sure if it was their own feeling or if they'd hit Chara so hard the emotions had overflowed.

It didn't go away, either. Frisk's anger was already evaporating, like it usually did when they started to vent, but the shock in Chara didn't grow any less strong. The hurt only seemed to cut deeper as Frisk's words sank in.

Anger started to give way to worry. They'd very rarely felt anything like this from Chara before. It was like punching a brick wall in anger, expecting to hurt your hand but instead feeling the wall crumble to dust at your touch.

The imagery brought disturbing memories to mind.

_"Chara, I-"_

_"Alright."_

The other human's tone was quiet. The ghost of a whisper in the very back of their conscience, sounding stiff and lifeless.

_"...'alright,' what?"_

_"I said alright," _Chara repeated quietly. _"Do what you want. I won't bother you. I... I made my choice a long time ago."_

_"Wait. I didn't mean it like that!" _Guilt and panic were starting to well up in Frisk's chest. _"Chara! C'mon, you know I get mad sometimes. We're just having a fight. Don't sulk all day 'cause of it!"_

Silence. Chara refused to speak, becoming nothing but a sort of cold, hurt anger in the back of Frisk's head. They seemed to even be trying to cut off their emotions from Frisk, though that was impossible.

_"I just lashed out without thinking. Y'know, like with Snowdrake, or—come ON, talk to me!"_

Still silence.

_"Chara!"_

Silence.

_"Please—get mad! Say something! Snap back! I don't care, just talk to me!"_

_". . ."_

But nobody answered.


	2. Despite Everything

Chara didn't speak again till evening.

Frisk hadn't given up since that afternoon, never going more than a couple of minutes without trying again to coax them out of the back of their mind. They'd pocketed their phone and spent the day alone after all, which should have made the other human happy. It was sort of their way of making a peace offering, which they expected them to understand. Yet the only emotions they could sense beyond the walls Chara had erected were of a profoundly bitter flavor. If anything it looked like having gotten their way had only made them feel worse.

Frisk felt the same way. 'Winning' the argument the way they had made them feel like shit. Why did they say that? They didn't mean it. They'd just been venting—they didn't _want _to hurt Chara. Most days they didn't even mind hearing their voice in their head. Hell, if the latter half of their day had proven anything it was that they felt lonely without it. They _wanted _to hear that bossy, funny, comforting voice.

So why had they gone and ruined the _one _relationship that had been with them since the very beginning?

Dinner passed without a peep from Chara and Frisk couldn't even manage a half-hearted conversation with Toriel. As gravely concerned as their Mom had appeared towards the end of the evening she'd had no more luck getting Frisk to open up than _they _had with the voice in their head.

As enthusiastic as they usually were for affection Frisk still found themself accepting their mandatory evening hug with a despondent exhaustion.

"Frisk," Toriel said yet again, though more softly than before. "While you do not _have_ to tell me, I want you to know that there is nothing you can tell me that would make me want to help you less. Do you understand? If I have said anything to make you doubt me..."

Stepping back Frisk hurriedly explained that she hadn't done anything of the sort. They just... needed some time. Toriel accepted this, though the look in her eyes behind her consoling smile was pure misery.

Frisk had just dragged themself up the stairs and was brushing their teeth in front of the mirror when they finally heard that precious voice again.

_"Like Russian nesting dolls filled with recursive inner sadness, our family once again refuses to be happy."_

Despite the dry sardonicism dripping from the remark, Frisk felt a crashing wave of relief. They gave a toothpaste-slathered beam into the mirror.

_"You're back!"_

_"I never left. I have been watching you refuse to live your life all day."_

Frisk's face fell.

_"I—I didn't mean what I said before," _they said earnestly._ "I'm sorry. I'm _really _sorry."_

Chara was silent again, long enough to make Frisk worry that they were done talking for the night. But they spoke again, their already quiet, purely inner voice nonetheless sounding softer than before. Softer and tinged with the stoic seriousness that only seemed to come through when they were _truly _upset.

_"You... shouldn't be sorry," _they said slowly. Frisk's face felt an uncomfortable itch to smile the pain away. They knew very well that tendency wasn't their own._"You were right, Frisk. I'm dead. Dead from my own choices, but still trying to live vicariously through you. It is... truly pathetic that I haven't been accepting the consequences of my own decision."_

The miserable pile of guilt in Frisk's stomach started to churn. What they'd said couldn't be taken back and it had hit harder than they'd ever meant. Not for the first time they wished they could reset up here and undo their mistakes... though even in the Underground this had been one of their precious few relationships that _couldn't _be started over from scratch. All they could do was what anyone could do. Apologize.

_"But I _am _sorry," _they insisted, _"Even if you don't think I should be. I don't actually think like that, Chara. I was mad about other things, and-"_

_"Liar."_

_"I'm telling the truth! You're not dead... you just went to sleep for a while and you woke up as my partner. We're partners, right?"_

_"No."_

Chara's curtness was crushing. Frisk watched their face in the mirror reflect back the distress they felt. Chara went on, their voice remaining cold and aloof.

_"You are a human. You have a life. A future. Me? I am nothing but a ghost. I am a memory that can speak to you, and evidently, I have nothing of value to say."_

_"That's not TRUE!" _Frisk put enough energy into the words that they might as well have been yelling. _"You're my best friend! I value what you say a lot!"_

No answer. They had withdrawn again behind the half-translucent barrier that divided their minds, showing nothing but the faintest shadows of guilt and anger. It was unclear whether the anger was at feeling lied to or was entirely self-directed.

No amount of pleading or coaxing in front of the mirror was enough this time, and with a heavy heart Frisk eventually had to go to bed. They lay awake for a while staring up at the ceiling, kicking themself out of guilt and frustration.

Before a thought occurred to them. A thought and bad memories.

_"Chara."_

No response. They really only had themself to blame then for what Frisk was about to bring up.

_"Chara, you're not a ghost. You're an amalgamate."_

Despite the trauma of both the experience and the countless nightmares it had birthed flashing through their mind, Frisk couldn't help but smirk when they felt Chara's bitterness flash into shock and indignation. Pleading hadn't worked, but _this_ dragged them back out of their shell.

_"Alright," _said the voice in their head in an icy yet curious tone. _"Please explain to me in ten seconds or less how I am anything_ _like those... things."_

_"Actually, I think it'd be safer to say _we're_ one of those things."_

_"EXPLAIN, FRISK."_

Frisk closed their eyes, taking a moment to think. It often took them some time to gather their words out loud, and conversations in their head were evidently no exception. It was also, if they were being a hundred percent honest, a _little _bit satisfying to keep Chara waiting.

_"Alright," _they began slowly. _"First of all, 'amalgamate' is the right word, yeah? Maybe it was something else..."_

_"Yes. It's amalgamate. Get to the POINT, Frisk."_

Bickering Chara was so much more of a comforting presence than quietly miserable Chara. Frisk smiled lightly despite the disturbing subject of their thoughts.

_"Okay, okay. Listen. The amalgamates 'fell down.' They were basically dead. But thanks to Alphys they're alive again, right?"_

_"I wouldn't exactly call what they are 'alive.' Are you trying to make me feel more or less like an abomination?"_

_"They are _not _abominations,"_ Frisk said firmly. _"They're just monsters who had bad luck. Even so... don't they seem happy to be alive? Don't their families seem happy they were alive? Do you really think everyone would be happier if they were dead?"_

Chara was quiet. It was a more contemplative quiet this time, tempered with a stab of guilt for their less-than-kind remark. Frisk continued more softly.

_"You know the one you called Lemon Bread? The one that's made of Shyren's sister and Aaron's cousin?"_

_"'Welcome to my special hell,'" _Chara's voice came in a whisper. They clearly remembered well.

_"Do you think they argue?" _Frisk asked softly. _"They've got to want to do different things some days. But they can't. But it wouldn't be fair for one of them to say that this was _their _life and _only _their life."_

Chara finally seemed to catch on to where Frisk had been going with this. They clearly didn't like it one bit.

_"We are NOT an amalgamate. We are not two bodies melted together. I died and began to haunt you. You are the one with the body. You are _you _and I am-"_

_"Still you,"_ Frisk interrupted. _"Despite everything... body or no body... you're still you. And you deserve a life as much as I do."_

The silence now between them was less bitter than before. Chara was refusing to speak not out of stubbornness but now at a true loss for words. Frisk didn't press them. They needed some time to make up their own minds on this too. Even so, a new conviction was forming in them.

_"Chara. Are you still listening?"_

_"...yes."_

_"Sometimes... we have a bad day... and I get frustrated that we have to do _everything _together. Sometimes I don't like sharing my life with you."_

They shared the pang of hurt that Chara felt at that, even though they knew the feeling was mutual. But it was honest, and they knew that telling lies to the voice in their head was never worth it.

_"I'm not the easiest person to be with,"_ Chara replied in a near mumble. _"I am bossy and unempathetic. I know that. I don't blame you."_

_"I don't think there's anyone it _would _be easy to share a life with," _Frisk said. They smiled weakly. _"Well, maybe Sans, but only 'cause he'd be too lazy to argue about anything."_

Chara didn't laugh, but they felt a twinge of amusement from them. Good enough. Frisk went on more seriously.

_"Sharing isn't easy. But I wouldn't even have a life to share right now if I'd landed anywhere but on top of you. We both got a second chance, Chara."_

_"...those flowers were on top of my grave. You landed on top of the grave that I might as well of dug myself. It was my choice that put me there, Frisk."_

_"And climbing the mountain was _my _choice."_

They knew Chara was already aware of why they'd climbed the mountain. If nothing else they would have pieced it together from their shared nightmares. Saying it so clearly, so boldly, still seemed to take their partner completely by surprise. Frisk pressed on despite the bitter memories.

_"...but... neither of us had to face consequences for that, and I'm glad. We should both be dead, and everyone should still be in the Underground. That's not what happened though. We both got a second chance, and I... I think it's not fair that I haven't been sharing it with you. We _both_ threw our lives away. Now there's just one between us."_

They took a deep breath, but smiled inside and out.

_"So let's be an amalgamate, Chara. Let's be someone who's both_ _of us."_

They could feel Chara trying and failing to form words for a long time. The emotions swirling around in both of them were confusing and blurred. Was that Chara who wanted to smile, or was it Frisk? Was it Frisk who was fighting the urge to start crying into their pillow, or was it Chara?

_"Don't cry," _Chara's voice commanded harshly. If ever an internal voice had cracked with tears, it was this one. _"Don't you dare cry. We're too old for it."_

_"I won't if you won't."_

Frisk gave them time and space. Well... as much space as possible. They waited for Chara to make some sense of the emotional hurricane that was battering at the both of them. Eventually the storm began to recede and a more rational Chara began to speak.

_"Alright..."_ Chara's voice was stuffy but managing to remain calm. _"I am... open to what you are saying, but I don't know what 'sharing' a life is supposed to look like."_

_"Um. Well... neither do I," _Frisk admitted. _"I just know that what we're doing right now isn't working. I wind up making you feel like what you want doesn't matter."_

_"And I make you feel like you're not in control of your own life," _Chara said, another pang of guilt bleeding through. _"I will... commit to being less bossy. I don't mean to control you."_

Control. Hmm...

_"And I'll try to compromise more," _they said back. _"It doesn't always have to be all or nothing. We can listen to each other and try to figure out how we can both be happy."_

Chara was thoughtful for a moment. _"...how do you propose that we handle conflicts like meeting with your friends today? I am antisocial. You feel sad when you're not around people. There are days where we cannot both have what we want. One of us has to make the deciding call."_

Frisk pondered this for a minute. Chara didn't seem to mind them taking their time. It occurred to them that, as irritating as they could be at times... there really wasn't anyone else they really felt _comfortable _with like this.

Comfortable enough to give up control altogether.

_"Then... how about... we share more than just our head?"_

_"Explain."_

_"Chara. I know you can move my body."_

A spike of alarm. A suddenly half-desperate tone. _"I choose not to. I wouldn't-"_

_"It's okay," _Frisk assured them._ "I know you wouldn't try to take things from me. But back in the Underground I noticed you move my feet sometimes when I was too scared to move..."_

_"I... I don't know for sure if that was always me. When things got really_ _serious I was usually just as scared as you were."_

_"Let's try it. See if you can move my hand."_

They sensed great hesitation.

_"...are you sure?"_

_"C'mon, just do it. It's not a big deal."_

_"But it _is_ a big deal. It will be the first time that I've deliberately-"_

_"Come ON, Chara. You're being a baby."_

There was a long pause. They could tell that nervousness had just given way to irritation and were about to say something else when it suddenly happened. They felt their hand move upwards, fingers flexing. It was a surreal feeling, undeniably in motion but not controlled by Frisk at all. If there was any doubt about that at all it was gone when Chara flipped them off.

_"...really, Chara? That's the first thing you do? Real mature."_

_"You're the one who called me a baby. All I was trying to do was respect your boundaries."_

_"Whatever... the point is, it works! You can steer my—_our_ body, Chara!"_

Their hand dropped dramatically back into bed, as though it were a puppet with its strings suddenly severed.

_"I don't know if I want to," _Chara said, their nervousness returning. _"It's been a long time since I... 'lived.'"_

_"You'll do fine,"_ Frisk assured them. Then, cheekily, they added _"As long as you don't flip off Mom."_

_"Oh, ha ha. You are the only person I will both respect and betray."_

_"Aww. I knew what we had was special."_

They felt a warm feeling in their cheeks—a slight flushed sensation, and the feeling of lips involuntarily twitching upwards. It was impossible to tell whose lips those were right now, so neither remarked on it. They simply lay there, close together by necessity, before Chara finally broke the silence with a voice barely more than a whisper in the back of Frisk's conscience.

_"...when... would it be alright for me to 'steer'?"_

_"How about you take over this weekend?"_

_"No. I'm not taking your weekend."_

_"It wouldn't be fair to let you do whatever you want on a day you have to go to school, Chara. Besides, you haven't been paying THAT much attention in math."_

_"There's usually nothing better to DO than—Frisk, I don't want to start that fight again."_

_"Okay, okay. Still, I want you to have the weekend."_

_"Still. No."_

_"Just take Sunday, alright? Please? Sunday sucks anyway 'cause I spend half of it thinking about Monday."_

_". . ."_

_"I've been in charge every single day since we met. Just take a day, Chara. Just let yourself feel what it's like to be alive again."_

Frisk's own thoughts had taken a pleading tone they hadn't intended, but it seemed to sway Chara. They finally relented with a sigh that was both quiet and completely for show, as it didn't quite touch Frisk's actual lungs.

_"...alright. I'll steer on Sunday. I'll be the bored teenager and you can be the annoying voice in their head telling them they're doing everything wrong. A complete Opposite Day. Will that make you happy?"_

_"It'll make you happy," _Frisk promised. _"And that'll make me happy."_

That warm feeling touched their cheeks again, this time with a lot less ambiguity over whose feeling it was. But there was still some doubt—they both felt it, for different reasons. It was Chara who gave voice to it first.

_"If you're only doing this to overcompensate for exploding earlier..."_

_"I'm not," _Frisk assured them. They hesitated a moment. _"Well... it's more like exploding earlier was our wake up call. Things aren't all okay between us. It wouldn't have happened if we were both happy, right?"_

_"You can never really know."_ They felt hope from Chara, but that doubt was still poisoning it. _"...I don't want anything from you that you feel obligated to give. I forgive you for what you said earlier. I'm not angry."_

Frisk frowned. _"You're still hurt. I can tell."_

Chara was quiet. The hurt was obviously still there, and they seemed to realize hiding it from their headmate wasn't an option. They relented.

_"Yes, you hurt my feelings. Yes, I still feel bad. But forgiveness isn't about whether the damage is gone. It wouldn't be worth anything if it was."_

_"I... I get that."_

And they did. They'd forgiven Asriel, after all, even when two years later they were still waking up in cold sweat from dreams of vines and fire.

_"But this isn't about forgiveness,"_ Frisk continued. _"I'm not trying to trade my body for you being happy with me, or whatever it is you think I'm doing. I... _really _think this is a better way."_

_"Truly?"_

_"Yeah, truly. I was only right about one thing earlier, and that was when I said we weren't partners. We aren't right now. We can't be partners when only one of us ever has any control."_

They smiled weakly.

_"And I really want you to be my partner, Chara."_

The doubt, as stubborn of a stain as it had been before, finally seemed to be washing away. It was replaced with a bubbly warmth.

_"I... want that too," _Chara said, their voice unusually meek._ "Our agreement stands, then. I will take control on Sunday. It may only be a test run, and I may decide to never do it again. But I will try it, if it means so much to you."_

_"I think it'll mean a lot to you too,"_ Frisk said with a smile. _"Now... we should probably try to sleep some tonight, or else algebra's gonna _really _thrash our ass tomorrow."_

_"Ha... yes. Good night, Frisk."_

_"Night, Chara."_

Chara slowly retreated back to the corner of their mind, but not bitterly this time. It wasn't so much anger and guilt were swirling back and forth across the flimsy mental barrier between them. The emotions this time were of a much warmer variety.

Hope. Hope and excitement. They hadn't _completely _made up yet; it was hard to make up for two years spent with one in control and the other as commentary. It was hard to make up for the kind of words that had been said. But maybe they could make a start. At least they didn't have to go to bed angry.

Frisk rolled over and began to drift off to sleep, Chara in tow. There was some peace between them now. A relief they shared from finally talking about the most important details of their existence.

Maybe being an amalgamate didn't have to be so bad.


	3. It's You!

The next few days were mostly devoid of conflict. Chara returned to their usual routine of commenting freely on the day's events, sometimes snarky, sometimes cynical, sometimes cracking puns that would have done Sans proud. One thing Frisk noticed was that they didn't complain quite so much over the next few days, nor did they issue commands. Time spent surrounded by noisy friends would usually draw low groans from the back of their mind or requests to wrap things up, but now the things Chara usually argued against were met with silence. Silence, and an energized feeling of anticipation.

As ambivalent as they tried to act about the coming Sunday, they were practically bouncing up and down in excitement for it. They would stop narrating for periods of time in which their emotions wandered through quiet musing, as though daydreaming about things they might do when given free rein. It was adorable to see—or, rather, feel them this way. The sensations put a smile on Frisk's face whenever they felt them through the barrier in their head.

But it also gave them a measure of guilt.

No one should have to be _this _excited just to be able to use the body they lived in. They couldn't help but wonder—what if the situation had been reversed and _Frisk _had been the one to have died from their own stupid choice? What if _they _had wound up tagging along with another human years later? Would it have still taken them so long to suggest sharing?

They tried to put those thoughts behind them whenever they came up. After their time in the Underground guilt had become an old friend; they knew, at least roughly, how to handle it by now. While some of it could be reset away there was still only one thing that could move them past it in the long run.

Keep moving. Try to do better.

So they allowed themself to enjoy the rest of their week and Saturday, hanging out with friends and pretending to be a normal teenager. It was their usual routine and it served them well, and by Saturday night, a Chara who would usually have been grumpy from all the socializing was instead radiating excitement into every corner of their mind.

They settled into bed a little earlier than usual—it wouldn't be fair to leave Chara feeling exhausted on their first day steering—and felt a general sense of contentment. Not having control of their body for a day _should _have sounded like a nightmare, but... it was Chara. It wasn't any scarier than falling asleep. If anything they were curious to see the world from their point of view.

_"It's all yours tomorrow," _Frisk said in their head, rolling comfortably to their side. _"Excited?"_

Chara didn't answer right away, but their emotions were tangible. Bright, vivid excitement with streaks of nervousness. Neither came through in their voice. _"...yes. Thank you."_

_"You deserve it," _Frisk said earnestly. They really wanted to ease that guilt and keep them focused on the positive._ "You're a hero, Chara. I could never have saved anyone in the Underground without you. I definitely couldn't have saved Asriel."_

_"Hmm."_ Their emotions took on a different shade at the mention of Asriel. Frisk kicked themself—they knew better than that. They both had a lot of powerful emotions centered around the prince of the monsters, but Chara's were almost overwhelming. Their love was burning. Their guilt was smothering.

They were going to say something else to distract them, but Chara beat them to it. Their tone was surprisingly soft, letting a little more emotion through than usual. Affection.

_"Good night, Frisk. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_"'Night, Chara."_

They again drifted off filled with hope, feeling nothing but nervous butterflies from Chara.

* * *

Asriel... why'd Frisk have to mention Asriel?

Though they felt hope radiating from Frisk, as it always did, they were suddenly having a hard time feeling it for themself.

The SOULless didn't deserve it.

* * *

Chara refused to get out of bed the next morning.

When Frisk came to in the morning it was with a panicked presence in their head, causing them to bolt upright with a pounding heart and fists clenching their bedsheets. It took a moment to realize that all was well—no energy spears or mini robots were attacking them. No psychotic demon flowers were cackling at them for foolishly thinking it was safe to sleep. All there was was Chara. Chara, holed up in the back of their mind and trying desperately to wall off the anxiety they were flooding their shared mind with.

_"Chara? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing. Everything. I—Frisk, I changed my mind. You steer today. I don't want to."_

Frisk blinked tiredly, wiping the sleep from their eyes with a baffled expression. _"What are you talking about? You've been looking forward to this all week!"_

_"I was." _Their voice was forced, sounding like it would have half caught in their throat if they'd been speaking out loud. _"I was. But _thinking _about stretching my legs or enjoying the sunlight is different from _actually _going downstairs. Facing Mom. Going outside. Having to talk to any monster or human who wants to talk to you because they think I'm _you._ When I can't actually be you. When I am _dead _and can't just pretend to be alive-"_

Frisk was completely dumbfounded. Chara never rambled like this. Their tone was always so forceful, so commanding. They'd never heard this kind of anxiety in their voice, not even back in the Underground where sudden violent death was always a few poor decisions away. They were still tired from getting up and felt like crying, not even certain whether it was their own reaction to Chara's distress or the result of that distress bleeding over to them. Taking a deep shaky breath they closed their eyes, willing their thoughts to be as forceful as they could make them.

_"Chara. CALM DOWN."_

The voice stopped rambling out their fears and anxieties, but they didn't calm. Their emotions were still raging like a bonfire.

_"...listen," _Frisk went on more gently, _"You know everyone that I know as well as I do. Some of them better than me. You can talk to them just fine."_

_"You don't understand."_

_"Can you help me understand? 'Cause you're having a meltdown over something you really_ _wanted yesterday."_

_"I just can't, Frisk. I said no. I'm turning down your gift. That is the end."_

_"But you've been planning-"_

_"Stop it. _Everything_ I have ever planned has ended horribly. Just for once in my life I am deciding to win the game by not playing."_

Frisk was silent and crestfallen, before a solemn look crossed their face. Fine. If Chara needed a push to get going, Frisk would roll up their sleeves and _shove._

They flopped right back into bed. They could smell breakfast downstairs, but they refused to get up. Chara didn't speak again but Frisk could sense a flash of irritation from them.

Sunday was _not _going to be another Frisk day. Even if they had to lie here counting the bumps on their ceiling until sunset.

"Frisk!" It was Toriel's melodic voice calling from downstairs. She sounded bright and cheery today. "Breakfast is ready, dear."

Chara's voice returned to their mind with its usual crisp command. _"Get up. She's going to think you're sick if you stay in bed."_

Frisk folded their arms defiantly. _"It's a Chara day, so that sounds more like a you problem."_

_"For the love of—I am NOT steering," _Chara snapped. _"I refuse to have this. It was a bad idea."_

_"It wasn't. You're just being a baby again."_

_"Really. _I _am being a baby. You are the one refusing to get out of bed out of stubbornness."_

_"You say stubbornness, I say determination."_

"...Frisk?" Toriel's voice had already picked up its dreaded spike of concern. Heavy footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs.

_"Frisk!" _That frantic anxious edge was coming back. _"Frisk, get up already! She's going to be terrified if you won't even talk to her."_

_"Yeah, no shit!" _Frisk shot back. _"She's had her kids just up and die in bed before!"_

Chara's spike of emotion was accompanied only by strangled, half-formed words. Frisk winced, kicking themself thoroughly. Again? They'd done it _again? _Why were they like this? Why did they always wind up being the cruelest to people they cared about?

Stubbornness, panic, and most of all guilt flooded through both of their minds, scrunching up their shared face and practically short-circuiting their brain. And so it was that two teenagers in one body were laying flat on their back in bed, staring up at the ceiling and involuntarily making radically conflicting facial expressions when Toriel burst in through the door.

"Frisk—my child, are you alright?" She was by their bedside in an instant, feeling their forehead and clearly overflowing with concern. Her hand was so warm and so gentle, yet shaky at the same time. "Please, talk to me. How are you feeling? Is there anything you need? I'll call the doctor-"

"I am fine, Mom."

Frisk's own voice stunned them coming out of their mouth. They'd never heard it like this before—hearing it loud and clear, but not having willed it to speak. They felt themself sit back up in bed, stretching as though just having come awake.

Toriel let out a sigh of relief, followed by a nervous chuckle. "Oh... of course. I'm sorry, Frisk. Just the nature of a fussy old woman at work. Unless you are feeling ill at all? If so merely speak and I will-"

Frisk's body suddenly leaned forward, hugging the old boss monster tightly. She breathed out in surprise, but was quick to return the embrace.

"I said I'm fine," said Chara. Their voice was muffled in the hug, and strained by a peculiar tightness. Frisk wasn't sure they had words for the emotions they were sensing from within. "Just... just didn't feel like getting out of bed this morning."

The embrace lasted for what felt like a while longer before Chara finally pulled away, leaving a bemused and still very much concerned Toriel.

"Well... it _is _a Sunday. If you are feeling that way I would be remiss not to give you your space. Would you like me to bring some breakfast upstairs?"

Still choked by some emotion, Chara spoke softly again. "No. I will come down shortly. It's a nice day and I don't want to spend it in my room." They hesitated before a smile spread out over their face. "Thank you... Mom."

"Anything for you, dear." She stood up with a warm smile of her own, eyes slightly watering. She hid her face immediately, masking it by striding to the window and pulling open the curtains to let in beams of radiant sunlight. "And you are absolutely right. It is a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. It is the kind of day that should be enjoyed."

She turned back to face them, a trace of seriousness returning to her expression. "But still. If there is anything you wish to talk to me about—anything at all—please do not hesitate."

"I won't. I'm just going to shower and change and then I'll be down for breakfast."

"Very well. I'll keep it warm for you." Though she still looked unconvinced that nothing was the matter, she still smiled warmly and left the room. Once she was gone Chara let out a long, deep breath before speaking only in their head.

_"You are an asshole, Frisk."_

Frisk replied back guiltily. _"I have my moments. What I said was really nasty though. I'm sorry."_

Chara gave a non-commital 'hmm.' _"You told Snowdrake no one would ever love him for who he is. I am relatively unscathed."_

They took a moment to get fully out of bed, moving their body experimentally. They flexed their toes as their feet touched the smooth wooden floor. They pulled their arms close, wrapping them tightly around themself as though it were the only way to confirm they were real. They took a long, deep breath, filling Frisk's lungs and exhaling with the ragged sigh of someone long dead.

_"But... maybe that was the kind of guilt I needed just then. I forgive you."_

_"I am your humble servant," _Frisk said awkwardly._ "Um... you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I forgot how... well..."_

_"How emotionally ill-adjusted I am about literally every single thing in my cursed un-life?"_

_"I wasn't going to say it like that, but sure, why not?" _Frisk joked. _"I forgot how _crazy _you are."_

They could feel Chara's amusement both from inside of their head and as the ghost of a chuckle escaping from their lips. It was so strange to have actual body sensations to go along with Chara's feelings. Strange, but... nice. They continued on a little more seriously, trying to sound assuring.

_"But... really, Chara. If anything's too much, I can take over for you. Just until you're feeling okay again."_

Chara didn't answer for a moment, and they could feel them considering the offer. Slowly they shook their head. It felt weird to be interpreting that expression from the inside. _"Talking to Tor—to Mom wasn't as bad as I was afraid it would be."_

_"It felt like it meant a lot to you."_

_"...yeah. In fact I was kind of thinking... it'd be nice to talk to Dad again too."_

_"He'd love it if we stopped by!"_

_"And maybe I could help out in his garden..."_

_"Yeah! We could garden!" _Frisk cut off. If they had total control over their face right now they'd have wrinkled their nose—a little bit of the expression might have bled over anyway. _"Wait, garden? Like, in the dirt? With plants? That's what you want to do on your day?"_

_"You said I could do anything." _The words were simple and matter of fact, but they sounded accusing. Frisk backed off from the comment as quickly as they could.

_"Of course you can. I'm just surprised, is all. Also I hate gardening."_

_"Well I hate socializing, so we'll be even," _Chara said, roughly split down the middle between irritation and smugness. They seemed to be feeling a little better, and Frisk for the most part remained silent as Chara began the same morning routine they'd been watching day after day from the back seat of their mind.

* * *

It was strange, but Chara wasn't yet sure what to think of inhabiting a body again. It was at once freeing and paralyzing.

They'd expected to have a lot more trouble with the mechanics of it than they did. Walking turned out to be just as easy as they remembered it, as did the more delicate acts of taking off clothes and putting new ones on. They'd been slightly anxious over that—their situation was entirely devoid of privacy and the act of changing clothes in front of each other had long since lost all embarrassment, but Frisk's internal laughter would have been unbearable if they'd fallen over while trying to put on a pair of pants. As it turned out they needn't have worried. They piloted a human body like a natural.

The terrifying part came in when it came to all the myriad _choices _there were in the world. That was the part they'd forgotten. Finding the words to speak to their own mother had felt almost impossible, and even now, just standing in front of Frisk's open wardrobe, the choices ahead of them were nearly overwhelming. They wound up taking their sweet time with it, trying to ignore the impatience emanating from Frisk's half of their brain. If they had had the saint-like patience to not have a meltdown when Frisk had wanted to examine every last snow poff in existence, Frisk could deal with this for a bit longer.

...right? As much as they knew Frisk wanted them to enjoy their day guilt-free, that was easier said than done.

They finally settled on a set of clothes that had long existed in the very back of Frisk's wardrobe. There wasn't anything _wrong _with these clothes, but they'd been some of Toriel's bargain purchases and didn't suit Frisk's tastes at all. Chara picked a shirt with a collar and a touch of green and headed for the mirror.

Looking at themself in the mirror made it so _glaringly _obvious they weren't Frisk. Their face had settled into the same constant, some would say _creepy _smile they'd always found themself wearing in life. The remnant of an early life where openly wearing the anger and misery they felt would have ended poorly. That smile had always been inextricably linked to their own face, and though they knew it had bled over to Frisk's expression from time to time, actually _looking _at it felt unnatural. As did their stance for that matter, much more rigidly formal than the slouch that Frisk was usually content with. Even something about their eyes felt wrong. They weren't red—thank goodness for that—but their mere gaze felt like a dead giveaway. If the eyes were the windows into the SOUL, then what would people see if they looked closely into Chara's?

This was a mistake. Any time at all spent like this would clue everyone in that a SOULless undead parasite was puppeteering Frisk's body. They were an abomination and it was _so _abundantly obvious and they _really _should have-

_"It's you!"_

Frisk's tone was surprised. Surprised, but somehow... delighted. They interrupted Chara's downwardly spiraling thoughts with a chipper enthusiasm that they could scarcely understand. They blinked in surprise, replying slowly.

_"...technically, Frisk, it's still you."_

_"No it's not." _They sounded thoughtful, but still happy. _"The smile, the clothes, the eyes... everything's you. I've only seen your face in photos before!"_

They sounded so excited by what they were seeing. Why? It was such a confusing perspective. Since when was being able to see the Chara in their eyes a good thing? As strange of a sentiment as it was, though... Chara found they liked it. A little bit of a blush made its way to their cheeks. The warm feeling from Frisk increased in turn, and it filled them with determination.

They messed up their life last time, but... maybe it really could be different this time around. They definitely wanted to try. With a renewed vigor they made their way downstairs for breakfast.

Breakfast was quiche, and it was delicious.


	4. The Chapter That Could Occur When Sans Offers You A Special Two-For-One Discount

In many ways it was like their first day back from the dead. The world was wide open in front of them. They could go anywhere in town; they could hit up any of Frisk's friends; they could read any book, watch any show, buy any toy, walk, run, swim, leap, talk, scream, cry into their hands.

They were free. They could do ANYTHING.

They spent much of it doing nothing.

They had plans to see Asgore later in the day, yes, but there was plenty of time in a day. An almost frighteningly large amount of time for someone who hadn't consciously moved their body in over a hundred years.

They decided not to push themselves too much. They just went for a stroll. There were no threatening rain clouds dotting the sky today, and the temperature was perfect for just enjoying the fresh air. They took their sweet time enjoying the sun, and the breeze, and the feel of dry leaves they picked up off the ground. They'd felt it all before, but not against _their _skin personally in so long. Doing nothing felt like everything.

After some time spent walking their phone buzzed. They whipped it out of their pocket to find a text message from Jenny, asking if they'd like to meet up at the usual place. They hesitated.

_"I told her I had other plans today," _Frisk said reproachfully.

_"Guess she hoped you'd changed your mind." _Chara remained staring down at the screen, feeling uncertain. _"...what do I do?"_

_"Um. Just tell her you can't make it."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Huh? Of course I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?"_

_"...you're bored."_

_"...oh. Um. You can tell?"_

_"I can always tell."_ They stared down at the phone. _"...I guess... we _could _swap and let you hang out for a bit..."_

_"No,"_ Frisk said firmly. _""Nuh uh. This is your-"_

_"My day, yes, I get it," _Chara interrupted. _"But that doesn't mean we can't still compromise. This whole mess started when we both wanted our way without being willing to give."_

They scuffed their shoe awkwardly against the ground as they continued, almost bashfully. _"Besides... it's not fun 'steering' with an unhappy passenger."_

Frisk was silent—technically this whole conversation had been silent, but they didn't speak in their head either. When they spoke again it was more resolute.

_"Tell her we'll hang out tomorrow."_

_"Are-"_

_"Yes, I'm sure," _they butted in. _"And _your _part of the compromise is that you've got to walk us over to the lake so we can skip rocks. We'll take turns. You throw one, then I'll throw one. That way we're doing nothing, but together."_

There was that warm feeling again.

_"What a dorky way to spend a day," _they said.

_"You're not sayin' no."_

_"...because it sounds... nice," _they said sheepishly. It was completely unfair that talking to the voice in their head could fill their stomach with butterflies.

_"Then do we have a treaty, your highness?"_

_"Not royalty. But... yes. We have a deal."_

Jenny seemed disappointed but accepted their decline. The two fused humans made their way down to the lake and spent quite a while down there, just enjoying the feel of the sunlight and the breeze, and the sounds of birds and splashing rocks.

Frisk was by far the more talented rock skipper out of the two of them—this had apparently been one of their favorite pasttimes when they used to sneak out and spend as much time away from their home as humanly possible. Chara's life on the surface had had significantly less freedom; they'd never really gotten the chance to do childish things before they fell to the Underground, and there weren't many good rock-skipping places if you didn't want to make the trip to Waterfall. It felt good to try out the game, though, especially as Frisk was more than willing to teach them a thing or two about finding optimally shaped rocks.

It really was 'doing nothing, but together,' and Chara enjoyed every second that it was just the two of them.

Well, just the two of them, and Sans.

He was a few meters down the bank passed out asleep with a fishing pole lying on the ground beside him and a floppy sun hat on his skull. His snores did nothing to disrupt the teenagers who spent the next few hours skipping stones and laughing out loud at the jokes being told in their head.

Being alive was pretty great.

* * *

After a while they lay there in the grass a little ways from the bank, having exhausted most of their supply of small, smooth rocks. It didn't really matter. They'd had a blast, and now it felt relaxing just to sit here watching the ripples recede to the far shores of the lake.

Though relaxing, Frisk was realizing, felt very different from the inside.

They felt comfy on the grass, rolling dandelion leaves between their fingers, but it wasn't really _them. _They could simply feel their body making small decisions such as what interesting texture to reach for next, or at exactly what moment to breathe in or breathe out. They had no conscious control over any of it. It wasn't _un_pleasant, but they wouldn't want to live their entire life with their body on autopilot.

...that brought with it those uncomfortably guilty feelings. After all, this was exactly how Chara had been living for the past two years. Was it any wonder their already bossy personality had gotten a bit insufferable from time to time? It was like watching someone over their shoulder while they played a game, wanting to tell them every path to take or item to pick up, but a million times worse. Anyone would become a control freak about it eventually.

It took actually _living _to actually want to take it slow. To stop and smell the flowers. To treat life more like... well, life, and not a game with an end goal you had to beat. There was no final boss.

_"Hey, where'd Sans go?"_ Chara asked. They sat up, slightly disorienting Frisk in the process, looking over at an empty lawn chair by the lake's edge.

_"Probably on a break," _Frisk offered, before a nice smell started wafting down from uphill. _"Hey, what's that? Kinda smells like fish."_

_"Top tier narration, Frisk. It probably is fish."_

They both became aware of their stomach growling abruptly.

_"How long has it been since breakfast?" _Chara groaned._ "We should go eat."_

_"Definitely,"_ Frisk agreed.

_"Then let's go,"_ Chara said with a hint of impatience. _"Come _on._"_

They blinked.

_"Wait. That's not right. I am steering. Acquiring lunch, then, is my responsibility." _They laughed a little awkwardly. _"Sorry. Force of habit. A very, very bad habit."_

_"Nah, it's fine. I understand." _Frisk meant it. They _did _understand a lot better than they had before. _"But hey, you're in charge. Take us out to eat!"_

_"Don't make it weird."_

_"How's it weird? You're just taking your veeeeery special partner out to lunch..."_

Chara's cheeks heated up as they gave only a flustered huff in response, making their way towards food to the sound of Frisk's internal laughter.

Frisk couldn't see their face, but they still thought Chara was pretty cute when they got like this.

* * *

Chara molded their face back into their usual polite smile as they approached the food. They never really felt right without it.

Unsurprisingly Sans had set up a food stand up on top of the hill. A sign was advertising fish tacos spelled out entirely in lower case; it was unclear whether this was actually any easier than writing the normal way.

"well if it isn't my favorite customer," Sans said, greeting them with a lazy half-wave. "and with a smile that goes on for miles. feelin' in high spirits today, kiddo?"

Chara felt slightly awkward, their pasted-on smile taking on a somewhat more guarded role than usual. They _liked_ Sans, just like Frisk and practically everyone else did. It was just those eyes of his... they always felt like they were digging a little deeper than his grin would suggest.

"Yes," they replied finally, a little nervous. "It's just one of those days that makes me feel... happy to be alive."

"heh. don't i know the feeling." He closed his eyes for a moment, but swiftly plopped a large, somewhat greasy paper bag down on the table. "but, since i've got this all new, all smiles edition of frisk here anyway, could i interest them in some fresh fish tacos? they were really biting today."

Chara looked skeptically at the bag. They hadn't really thought he'd caught anything down there by the lake.

"Er. I never saw you as the fisherman sort."

"are you kidding? i'm a natural at sitting around doing nothing all day."

They noticed a small wastebasket beside his stand that appeared to be full of crumpled up receipts from a local seafood joint. Sans was smiling as though they were invisible.

"only twenty g apiece," he went on, leaning back in his chair while _somehow _again closing his eye sockets. "each one restores fifteen hp, raises def by one for a whole turn, and replenishes vitamin d. that last one's not a stat. but you'll probably die without it. human bodies are funny that way."

Chara laughed awkwardly, scratching their head.

_"Your call, Frisk. Do we eat secondhand fish sold by a sketchy skeleton in a park?"_

Somehow Frisk managed to convey the entire energy of an indifferent shrug without even having a body. _"Whatevs. You know I'll eat just about anything that's not oatmeal."_

_"That I do." _The memory of spider doughnut after greasy spider doughnut made them shudder. _"I suppose we'll go for it. I've had worse stomach aches than any fish is going to cause."_

They forked over twenty G and had the bag slid over to them, which they opened with a growing hunger. Something was slightly out of place on the inside.

"Hold on," they said. "You put an extra one in here by mistake."

"mistake? or a happy accident?" He gave them a conspiratorial wink. "consider it a special two-for-one discount. share it with someone special. even if that person is you—i won't judge."

"Ha. Thank you, Sans."

"no prob. just take care of yourself, kiddo."

They took the bag and left, feeling—as usual—confused but somewhat amused by the skeleton's antics. There were days when they _really_ wanted to wipe that knowing smile off his face, but on days like this, it was almost kind of reassuring. If he was inclined to smile and joke with them then they couldn't be doing _that _bad a job at being Frisk.

The two of them found a nice place to sit and started to dig in, pleasantly finding that the tacos didn't taste anything like food poisoning. Chara ate ravenously, half out of regular hunger, and half out of the pleasure of actually _eating _again. They'd done the same with the quiche this morning. It was so good to actually be in charge of moving the food to their mouth again, not feeling like a spoon fed baby while waiting for Frisk to transport the food.

_"Did you forget how to eat, or were you always this messy?" _Frisk asked idly.

_"Toriel... may have gotten onto me more than once for bad eating habits," _Chara admitted, just barely preventing themself from wiping their mouth on the sleeve of Frisk's shirt. _"...does it bother you?"_

_"Nope. Just a little funny. Sometimes you're all polite and stuck-up, other times you're eating messy and talking about 'butts pie.' It always surprises me."_

_"That's me. Chara Dreemurr. Full of surprises."_

They ate in silence for a while—it'd be impolite to talk to the voice in one's head with one's mouth full, after all. They crunched down on lunch, scattering enough crumbs to attract the attention of eager looking pigeons.

_"This is nice,"_ they said, finishing off the last of their food. They licked the grease off their fingers a little too noisily to avoid Frisk's amused internal giggling. They decided to let it slide. _"I think I see why you take your time so much."_

_"Mm hmm," _Frisk replied philosophically. _"It's nice to just stop and smell the flowers sometimes, you know?"_

_"I'd forgotten. Days a lot more pleasant when they're not rushed." _They hesitated, hunching their shoulders as an awkward guilt settled over them yet again. No matter where they went or what they did, that feeling was never far behind. _"I am... truly sorry that I've made so many of your days miserable. It was never my intent."_

_"Come on Chara, don't be like that. You've only made a _few_ days miserable." _They laughed, but grew awkward themself when they realized Chara wasn't laughing with them. _"Uh... really. Sure, we get on each other's nerves, but I'm always glad I got to spend the day with you. It's nice to share the flowers, you know? 'Specially with you."_

Hot cheeks again. Chara pondered this for a while before nodding thoughtfully.

_"Yes... I think I see what you mean."_

They gauged the sunlight they had left, taking a wild guess at the time before remembering they had a phone that displayed it in numbers. Technology sure was nice. They checked the time and realized it had gotten later in the afternoon than they'd assumed.

_"Not to start rushing things again," _they said,_ "But we should get moving if we're going to spend any time with Asgore today. Our little intermission is over."_

_"You're the boss!"_

_"Incorrect. He is the boss monster. I am a human ghost."_

_"Oh ha ha. Technically THAT'S incorrect 'cause I'm the ghost today. You're a human person."_

_"Perhaps."_ They smiled at Frisk's exuberance, but a part of them was still hesitant. Talking to Toriel had been hard. Would talking to him be any easier? It always had been before, but...

Chara took a deep breath, before nodding firmly.

_"Let's go."_


	5. Your Father

_I'm just going to knock," _Chara said slowly._ "It's not a big deal."_

They stood right by the door as they had for about a minute now, their hand no closer to knocking than they had when they'd first climbed up the steps. Like getting out of bed this morning, the proposition had been easier said than done.

_"Do it, coward," _Frisk replied.

_"Excuse me? Since when do I share a head with Undyne?"_

_"Since you starting Alphys-ing out over knocking on a door."_

_"Compare me to that MMKC2 hater again and so help me I will find a way to _end _you."_

_"Bold words for someone who's freaking out over knocking on their Dad's door." _Frisk's tone became somehow even more aggressively insistent_."Come ooooon, Chara! You can do this!"_

Chara scrunched up their face in annoyance, but while they'd refuse to admit it, Frisk's obnoxiousness had put this into perspective. This wasn't a big deal. Frisk themself had visited Asgore a few times since leaving the Underground, and while they never stayed long, this was nothing Chara hadn't experienced before. They were being ridiculous. With a deep breath they knocked on the door, surprised to almost immediately hear a warm, booming voice sounding from within.

"Howdy! You may come in if you like. Otherwise, I will be with you in just a moment!"

Their smile tugged at their face, completely sincere. He always had been the sort to invite just anyone into his home without question. The door was characteristically unlocked and they walked right in.

Even after they'd both picked out new homes, somehow Asgore and Toriel had independently picked houses that were almost identical. Chara could have believed they were in the same house they'd woken up in this morning if it weren't for the atmosphere; instead of low-maintenance decorations and the strong smell of baking, there were living flowers lining every available space and the air was filled with an earthy scent. They could feel Frisk slightly crinkling their shared nose at it, but Chara relished it. They didn't have much in their life to feel nostalgic about, but somehow, that smell, those flowers, that happily humming voice...

It brought them rushing back to far off memories. Memories that made them want to laugh and to sob at the same time. Being a teenager, and a tough one at that, they fought back the slight pressure in their eyes. They knew Frisk was feeling the same physical sensation, but mercifully they didn't remark on it. Chara took only a moment to wipe their eyes, trying to play it off as having gotten pollen in them, before making a beeline for Dad.

...for Asgore. They didn't have the right to call him Dad anymore, after all, not after what they'd done to his life. It still didn't stop the name from springing to mind as soon as they laid eyes on him.

Gone were the royal regalia, the flowing cape and the billowing robes. It wasn't the king of all monsters who greeted them; it was a massive fuzzy monster in overalls and dirty work gloves, looking startled to see the human before splitting into a wide but nervous smile.

"Ah... Frisk! This is a surprise, but I'm glad to see you. Can I help you?"

There was a stiff silence in the air for a moment, Asgore's eyes starting to dart anxiously. It took that long for Chara to remember they weren't a backseat observer waiting for Frisk to speak. They spoke hastily.

"No!"

Asgore's face fell.

"I mean..." Chara took a deep breath. A couple of years spent without speaking to anyone but Frisk had taken a toll on their social skills. They felt a sense of encouragement from the back of their skull, and, grateful, they kept on with more confidence. "What I mean is that nothing is the matter. I came to visit."

He looked surprised but delighted. "Truly?"

"Yes. Unless... it's a bad time?"

"Oh, no!" He said hurriedly. "It is never a bad time. I was simply doing some work in the garden, but I can stop for a cup of tea."

"That sounds nice," Chara said. Their smile itched a little as anxiety threatened to drive them away. They knew their behavior was unusual for Frisk, and despite the other human's encouragement, not following Frisk's usual script was unexpectedly stressful. "However. I was actually... hoping to help you."

If he was smiling in delight before, he was beaming radiantly now. "Is that so? You... wish to garden with me?"

A bit of self doubt returned to his expression, and he chortled nervously. "Are you sure you don't have anything better to do than pluck weeds with an old boss monster?"

Chara smiled warmly, trying and failing to not fumble over their next words. "I'm sure. Er. Not that there is literally nothing else to do. What I mean is, I would _like _to. Like-"

_Like we used to, _is what they didn't say. Fortunately the happiness on Asgore's face told them they didn't have to.

"I would also like that very much, Frisk. I will see if I have any, er, small-ish gloves anywhere..."

He did, which for a monster of his size still meant the gloves were several sizes too big for them. But they didn't care. It felt wonderful just to get out into the garden again.

It started with a tour of the garden, both outdoor and in the greenhouse Asgore had set up. He still mostly focused on flowers, but he'd expanded to an extraordinary variety of them. Tropical, temperate, perennial, annual... if it was bright and cheery and could fit in a pot, he was doing his best to make it thrive here. Chara was fascinated by each one, listening to him ramble on about each variety. He was just like Toriel when she got on an interesting subject, though it took a lot less to get her to start talking. Asgore glowing with pride and excitement was a rare but dear sight.

Despite all the new orchids and other exotic forms of flora he was growing now, there was a special area set aside for flowers near and dear to their heart. A broad patch of golden flowers. They found themself standing there numbly for a time, staring at them with a fixed-on smile.

"Ah..." Asgore said softly. "You recognize these."

Chara hesitated, declining to answer. He didn't seem to mind.

"Yes, these were the centerpiece of my garden in the Underground. In my throne room. I grow them here for... sentimental reasons."

He shuffled, clearly uncomfortable. "I understand if they bring bad memories. We can move on, or take a break."

Chara laughed softly. They hadn't even started yet. "No. I am fine."

They weren't. Far from it. Some ancient memories were still too fresh and too raw where these flowers were concerned. They could remember the cries of angry humans, of bullets tearing through their—through _his _body, remember struggling to take control, screaming out for him to just fight back. It was kill or be killed. Didn't he know that? Hadn't they _planned _for that?

Their smile was starting to hurt. Sensing concern from Frisk and an uncertain look from Asgore, they shook themself softly, puling themself back to the present as best they could.

"As much as I love seeing all of this..." they said slowly, "...I would also like to help before the day is up."

Asgore nodded thoughtfully, and with a smile he put them to work. He assigned only simple tasks, just some simple weeding and maintenance work, but the labor did them a world of good. Bad memories were all too easy to dredge up, but good memories took some effort. Fortunately this was doing it.

They used to play in a garden just like this, and work on it with Dad all the time. The work would be monotonous to most, but they'd always enjoyed it. There was a simple pleasure in the slow, methodical progress of turning barren earth into something beautiful and organized. Asgore was working hard, easily outpacing them when it came to the actual usefulness of the labor, but he never rushed them. He just hummed happily, seeming as glad to share silent company as he'd been to talk about his work. Chara shared the sentiment.

Frisk was bored out of their mind. They didn't say a word, no doubt afraid of making Chara feel bad about their choices, but they could feel the other human's distaste for the simple, repetitive work. They didn't let it bother them too much. They knew that stopping to appease Frisk was the last thing they wanted, even if they still couldn't quite understand why Frisk was so anxious to share. They still did the next best thing they could think of, starting an ongoing internal narration on everything they were doing.

Narration about gardening for the most part was boring Frisk almost as much as the gardening itself, but Chara tried to make it as entertaining as possible. They knew the other human's sense of humor pretty well by now, and sprinkled in puns and jokes on everything they could think of. The laughter in their head told them it was working, and they could feel Frisk's appreciation even if they didn't voice it. That was good enough for them.

They lost track of the time eventually, falling into a simple, pleasant rhythm until the sun had nearly sent. Asgore broke their reverie with a surprised whistle.

"Oh dear. The time I'm afraid has gotten away from us." He smiled apologetically. "I'd never rush you out, but your mother will probably be worried if you delay much longer."

Chara wiped some sweat off their brow, nodding in agreement. "You're right. I should head home."

They hesitated, as had become a bad habit. "I... this was fun. We should do this again some time."

Asgore beamed. "You are always welcome here, my child. You are fine company."

Chara's smile was starting to feel forced again, guilt and grief starting to hit hard. They tried to distract themself by removing and folding their oversized gloves, but it was still there.

_They _were still there. They'd had this for real, once. They'd had a father who knew their own name, and they threw it away. For what? So they could die in vain with their best friend. So they could-

To their surprise they heard an incredibly loud sniff, looking up to find Asgore's face a complete mess of emotion. He was wiping tears from his eyes, not even bothering to try to hide them. Chara panicked.

"D-Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry. I-"

"No!" Asgore said it quickly, an enormous hand fishing in his pockets for an equally huge handkerchief. "No, you did nothing wrong. I am simply... an old monster with many old memories. One who struggles not to see only what he wants to see."

He blew his nose with the same force as an elephant might, taking a few steps away to seat himself on a bench. Chara was completely at a loss for what to say, but he continued, slowly and with more control.

"I am sure I have told you this before, child, but... you often remind me of another human. One whose eyes shone with hope and determination as surely as yours. I see them in you every time we meet, but somehow, today, it is almost like looking at an old photo."

He shook his head, head hanging down and staring at the soil. But when he looked up at them again it was with a sad but strangely... hopeful expression.

He was looking at them like he had on their deathbed.

"I almost wish to ask if you remember this," he went on, his deep voice as quiet as distant thunder. "Though it is impossible, I still believe in what your determination can accomplish. And so I find myself asking a question that may make no sense to you."

He took a deep breath. Chara stood paralyzed in fright.

"...are you there?" Asgore asked quietly. "Frisk... is someone with you?"

They were terrified. He knew. He _knew. _He'd half convinced himself it wasn't real, but he'd _seen, _and he _knew. _With a sick certainty they realized Toriel was undoubtedly the same way. Seeing but disbelieving.

"I..." Their own voice was thick. They could force themself to speak only by sheer force of will. They felt a curiosity coming from Frisk, as though they weren't sure how Chara would approach this. It was mixed with a sense of encouragement.

_"...I can't, Frisk," _they mumbled in their head.

"...I have no idea what you're talking about," they mumbled out loud.

Asgore looked as though the lie felt like the slash of a knife.

"I'm sorry," Chara finished, to both their father and to Frisk. "I just... I just... can't."

Frisk was quiet.

Asgore's eyes held a distinctly miserable look. He nodded pitifully.

"Ah... so that is how it is. Of course. Here I am, spoiling everything," Asgore said. There was still the tension in the air of words unsaid, and his eyes flitted back down to the earth. "Hurry home then, my child. Don't let the ramblings of a tired old monster dampen a good day."

They wanted so badly to take back the lie, but couldn't force themself to do it. It was just... too much. Not today. Not when they could barely choose what to wear without second guessing their every action.

They could feel a somber sensation from Frisk, which made them feel all the worse. Their disappointment was merely the natural consequence to Chara's cowardice, but it hurt all the same. With wary steps they began to walk away.

_"Hug him," _Frisk said with a sudden tone of command. Chara jumped before vigorously shaking their head, Asgore far too wrapped up in his memories to notice.

_"What? I can't do that."_

_"Doesn't matter. _I'd _hug him right now. You should too."_

_"I can't. We're tired, we're sweaty, we're human so we probably smell terrible-"_

_"Hug him right now or I'm gonna start singing MTT commercial jingles."_

It was a dirty trick, but the threat coupled with their already warring emotions pushed them into it. Moving quickly to keep themself from changing their mind they darted back towards him, hugging the enormous monster with both arms. Asgore froze as though completely baffled, before slowly and gently returning the embrace.

They felt almost like the kid they were a hundred years ago.

They didn't want to let go.

Their phone ringing made their decision for them, and they awkwardly broke away from Asgore to answer it. They knew who must be calling before looking, and quickly had a worried Toriel chattering in their ear.

"Frisk? Where are you? It's ten minutes after you were supposed to be home! I-"

"I am fine," Chara assured her. They _really _hoped they weren't in trouble, especially since it'd be Frisk stuck with the consequences if they were. "I'm sorry. I just lost track of time."

"...I see," Toriel said, sounding relieved. It didn't lose that undertone of relief even as she spoke slightly more sternly. "Please hurry home at once."

"I will. See you soon, Mom."

They hung up, casting a glance towards Asgore. "I should start moving. This was... nice."

"Indeed." He smiled awkwardly. "Er... if she says anything about being late, tell her I kept you with a long and rambling story, and that you felt too awkward to stop me. It will not be far from the truth."

Chara started to protest, but Asgore, still smiling, was already shooing them away. With another word of thanks they hurried out and made a beeline for home.

_"I think that's the second time he's tried to sacrifice himself for us," _Frisk observed.

_"Yes..." _Chara agreed, feeling a rush of tenderness. _"That is the way he is."_

They made quickly for the door, but something on a table gave them pause. They hadn't noticed it coming in, but a familiar framed photograph sat framed by vases of golden flowers on either side.

Two loving boss monster parents nuzzling noses together. Two children standing in front of them—one a cheery, fluffy boss monster child with a smile that was the very embodiment of hope. The other was a human whose face remained hidden behind a bouquet of flowers.

He'd brought the picture up with him. After all these years, the family they shared still meant the world to him.

The family they'd broken. A loss they'd practically rubbed his nose in today. Their vision blurred as they picked up the portrait. Their eyes stung. It took them a while to finally put it down with trembling fingers. It took them longer to feel like they were safe from the urge to sob loudly enough that Asgore could hear them.

A part of them waited for Frisk to taunt them or call them a crybaby, but... it never came. Frisk waited patiently, radiating nothing but warmth.

With another ice cold stab of guilt they realized that were the tables reversed, Frisk couldn't have expected this kind of support from Chara. Back when Asriel was overcome with emotion, had he ever had this kind of support to lean on? Or had he only seen a cruelly smiling interloper calling him a crybaby?

Frisk must have sensed their guilt, because their voice came quiet and soothing.

_"He was really glad to see you," _they said softly. _"And I think he knew exactly who you were, too."_

_"I can't admit it," _Chara replied, sounding shaky even in their own head. _"You know that. I just... I just can't."_

_"I'm not making you. I'm just saying... you shouldn't feel bad. Those were happy tears back there. And it's okay if you cry too, but... make sure there are some happy tears from you too, okay? Does that make sense?"_

Chara was silent, Frisk's words almost drawing out the cry they were holding in. But they choked it back, wiping their eyes with a quiet laugh.

_"You make plenty of sense, Frisk. Sometimes too much."_

_"Um. Thank you? I don't know if that's a compliment."_

_"Nor do I. Whatever it is, appreciate it."_

Amusement bled into Frisk's confusion, and they shared another soft laugh that didn't quite belong to either of them.

If nothing else... even if there _wasn't _a way to recover all the relationships from their life long ago... at least they had this one. A half life wasn't so bad if the other half was Frisk.

Finally feeling a little bit better, their usual smile back on their face, they finally headed at a brisk pace for the door.


	6. Your Mother

They got home shortly and without incident. It turned out they didn't need to worry about their lateness—while Toriel fussed over them, as could be expected, she didn't push the issue of where they'd been. (That might have been because of the golden petal she plucked off of their shirt. She glowered at it for a perhaps unreasonable amount of time but didn't mention it out loud. Chara still held Asgore's excuse in reserve if worst came to worst.)

She seemed more concerned over the expression they wore, but if there was one thing Chara had excelled at in life and in death, it was avoiding talking about their feelings. They managed to brush off the concern and keep their comforting smile fixed on at all time.

They said little over dinner, but listened to Toriel as she talked about her work; about the effort going on to integrate monsters and children into the school; about her various letters to local authorities; about things as small as the funny joke she heard from a friend earlier. Toriel had been lonely in the Ruins and seemed to _still _be trying to catch up for lost time to this day. Chara didn't mind. Listening to her had the same comforting nostalgia as listening to Asgore.

And a bit of the same guilt. They did their best to hide it.

"And here is another," Toriel went on. "It goes like this. Ahem. 'How did the skeleton know what would happen next?'"

They smiled politely and asked how.

Toriel's eyes danced with mirth. "'He felt it in his bones!'"

They couldn't help it. They laughed. It wasn't at the joke—they'd heard it right from the mouth of a particular skeleton at least thirty times, and that wasn't even counting resets back in the Underground. But even though they'd been around Toriel for two years on the surface now, there was still something so strangely delightful about actually hearing her laugh while sharing a space with her. To actually _be _the one she was directing the joke towards. To actually be... her child.

The laugh didn't take long to die away. They poked at their shepherd's pie, uncomfortably aware of Toriel's concern returning to her gaze. Great. More guilt. They couldn't even get through an evening meal without ruining it for someone, could they?

_"You should take over,"_ they mumbled to Frisk. _"I'm just messing this up."_

Frisk was quiet, and for a moment Chara was afraid they were going to back out of their earlier offer to step in if need be. Their voice however finally came.

_"I will if you really need me to," _they said. _"But you're not messing anything up. You're allowed to be sad, you know."_

They almost flinched at that, and weren't sure why. Frisk's tone was soft and reassuring—perhaps calculatedly so, given how afraid they were of losing their temper after the other day. Even at their angriest Frisk had never given them grief over their emotions... like they themself had done to Asriel more times than they could bear to recount.

'Suck it up.' 'Crybaby.' 'Big kids don't cry.' They hadn't said those things to be cruel, but it was only now that they couldn't bottle in their emotions any more and felt like letting it all out that they realized just how cruel they'd been.

_"Asriel forgave you, Chara."_

_"...you can see my thoughts now?"_

_"I don't need to."_

Chara didn't move their right hand, but it nonetheless moved to gently rest on their left, thumb gently rubbing back and forth. Such a ridiculous gesture. Yet one that meant so much to them.

"He knew more than he let on, didn't he? He was trying to tell me something I already half-knew." Toriel said suddenly. Chara was jerked out of their own head, suddenly aware of just how far they'd retreated out of reality. It was a shock.

"I don't understand," Chara said slowly. "What who meant?"

"Sans." There was an odd expression on Toriel's face as she regarded her child, one tempered with both doubt and concern. "He is a strange one, and usually filled with nothing but jokes, but... he did say something especially strange when we chatted on the phone today."

Chara was frantically going through their meeting with Sans today to see if they'd said anything particularly wrong when Toriel continued.

"He said... 'keep an eye on Frisk. They're not feeling like themself today.' He said it almost as though it were one of his silly puns, but I could tell there was a seriousness to it. And the more I think about it, the more I realize he was speaking of the exact same thing I'd been noticing since you got out of bed. You... haven't quite been yourself today, have you?"

There was a silence over the table that could have been cut with a knife. Chara sat stiff and still in their chair, shepherd's pie completely forgotten as every faculty shut down simultaneously.

Sans knew. Of _course _Sans knew. 'Even if that person is you'... they felt like an idiot for missing all of his not-so-subtle jokes. This was the legendary fartmaster thing all over again. It hadn't been funny then, either.

Asgore knew. How could he not? He'd known them better than almost anyone.

And Mom... Toriel. Of course she knew. Why had they ever believed they could fool her? Why had they wanted to so desperately?

_"Chara," _Frisk interrupted. _"We're, uh, freaking her out again."_

_"I can tell. Take over."_

_"Are you-"_

_"Just do it."_

A still moment. Toriel looked almost physically pained by the lack of progress in the conversation and the conflict on her child's face. Finally Frisk relented.

"Uh... I'm fine, Mom."

Just like that their face and voice didn't belong to them anymore; they were hiding behind Frisk's like the disgusting coward they were.

But if anything Toriel looked _more _disturbed, not less.

"Well..." She took a deep breath, looking profoundly uncomfortable. "If you say so, I hate to press the topic. But something _is _the matter. I can tell, Frisk."

Frisk frowned. "Huh? Nothing's wrong, Mom."

"You do not have to tell me. But _please, _Frisk..." She gave them a piercing look. "Stop taking me for a fool. I won't force you to tell me, but I am not as small-minded as my constant worrying could lead you to believe."

Chara took over abruptly. "I have _never_ considered you small-minded. You are a queen!"

"Not in your lifetime, Frisk," she replied. There was a melancholy note in her voice. "You've never known me as royalty."

"Well... maybe not," Frisk said awkwardly, nonchalantly taking control back. "But I don't think you're dumb!"

"You always know best," Chara added.

"It's just that..." Frisk trailed off, passing off their body like a baton.

"...some things are impossible to discuss," Chara said.

"Even if we _really_ want to," said Frisk.

"And we do want to."

"_I_ want to, I mean," Frisk amended. "Though I know you want to too!"

"Of course," Chara continued. "I appreciate how much you want to help."

"Yeah—you're always there for me, and I know... I know I _could _talk to you. I..."

"I love you," they both said in unison.

They both stared expectantly at Toriel, who was staring at them with wide eyes as though they'd been possessed.

...oops. Body swapping at the table was evidently not their greatest idea.

"Are you on drugs?!" She blurted it out quickly, almost hysterically, immediately covering her mouth as though shocked by her own outburst.

Frisk—Chara—gah, they could barely tell who was at the wheel right now. Whoever it was, all they could manage was furiously shaking their head.

"Of course... of course..." Toriel rubbed her forehead gingerly. "Forgive me. I trust you not to be led astray down that path. But... if not that... what is going on today? Why are you acting so strangely?"

Neither human knew what to say or what to do as Toriel struggled to say what she said next. Her voice was trembling in a way they'd rarely heard from her.

"Frisk... I am going to show you the respect I would afford an adult by being _completely _honest about my concerns. I would ask you to be honest to be in turn." She looked at them with an almost pleading expression. "Are you... hurting yourself? Are you _thinking_ about hurting yourself?"

They stared in surprise, feeling the weight of the words dropped between them. They could feel each other's confused upset over the question, waiting cautiously for the other to respond.

"No. No, of course not," Frisk said. "Mom... why would you think that?"

"Because..." She fidgeted with her paws, looking miserable. "...I am an old monster with many old memories. You know that I have... failed to protect my children on many an occasion. Today you especially remind me of one of them. I can see them in you as surely as though I were looking at a photograph. You talk as I remember them, walk as I remember them, _smile _as I remember them... it is eerie."

They were both silent. Frisk had no idea what to say and Chara felt a familiar freight train's worth of guilt crashing into them.

"...I must sound so delusional to you," Toriel continued, giving a short, mirthless laugh. "I assure you. Rationally I am fully aware that you are not... you are not my Chara. The times I see them in your smile are mere wishful thinking on my part. Anything else would be impossible."

Chara tried to open their mouth and speak. Frisk had backed away from control; they would let Chara say anything they wanted. They glowed with encouragement.

But...

They couldn't. They couldn't any more than they could with Asgore. They remained silent.

"You have heard the story," Toriel went on softly. "The story goes that my child simply... grew ill. It was what I believed at the time as well. But I have since had many... _many _years to reflect on what happened. So many nights when it was all I could think about."

She took a deep breath.

"They... poisoned themself. Buttercups, I am certain. They had... ample access to them. I should have seen it sooner, for I had _seen _what the flower's effects were, and I had _seen _how strangely Chara had acted in the months before..."

She sniffed abruptly, raising a paw to her face. She wiped away a tear that smoldered with the heat of a boss monster's fire magic, and took a moment to pull herself together.

So. Toriel knew more than she let on. Asgore may have figured out that Chara was still present, but _she _had cracked the far more subtle secret. Maybe not in full. But enough to make her worry about Frisk.

Chara's mouth was dry. This was exactly the sort of pain they'd wanted to spare her. She never needed to know what they'd done. She'd never needed to have to know her own child had done something so stupid.

What was the cruelest joke here? That Toriel blamed herself? Or that she saw the traces of Chara in Frisk's face as omens of imminent disaster?

"Mom..." Chara's voice was tight. They wished Frisk would take over again. "...you don't have to tell me about all of this."

"I feel as though I do," she replied, still sniffing. "I don't want to stifle you with my fears, but likewise, I _cannot _just watch history repeat itself. You remember how it was when I saw you trying to leave the Ruins."

_"Hard to forget getting set on fire," _Frisk murmured. There was an immediate spike of guilt and panic. _"Uh, I didn't say _that_ out loud, did I?"_

Chara ignored them. Frisk dealt with bad memories in their own way, and needed some space. "Mom, history is... just that. I am not going to do anything to myself. I am _truly_ sorry that I have made you worry about that."

They were truly sorry for a lot of things that they couldn't fix.

Toriel looked unconvinced; she'd already been on edge, and their body-swapping spectacle had only further convinced her something was horribly wrong. Chara took a deep breath. There was nothing they could do to entirely make her fears go away, but they owed it to her to try their best.

"The truth is..." they said slowly, "...I recently had an argument with a close friend, and I may have been acting... out of character as a result. But that was then. We've made up since, and I'm already feeling better. I'm just still a little emotionally exhausted from the whole thing."

Toriel looked through them. After a moment though she seemed to relax somewhat, trusting. It hadn't really been a lie, anyway.

"Well... if you say that is the case, then I believe you," she said, eyes darting away as though she felt awkward. "Forgive me. I know I take off on flights of fancy where your well-being is concerned."

"It is alright," Chara said earnestly.

"We know you care," Frisk added.

Toriel looked at them askance for a moment before nodding with a weak smile. "I do so very much, my child. Now... onto lighter topics... how was your day?"

Chara gave a smile of their own—as sincere as it could be, given the things they'd just learned their mother knew. They tried to distance themself from the cold pit still slowly revolving in their stomach and focused on the good things about today. "It was great. That friend and I spent some time down by the lake. We just... enjoyed being alive."

"I am _truly_ glad," Toriel said warmly. "You've made so many wonderful friendships. I'm glad you can rely on them."

Their smile twitched even more. _Frisk_ had friendships. Chara's was in the singular, and they weren't even sure they wanted any more. Mom wasn't talking to both of them anymore... she was talking to Frisk.

They had to know. They _had _to test their luck. They _had _to see what she'd have to say about where they'd _actually _been... about what it actually was that had brought some peace to them today.

"I suppose," they said cautiously, gauging her reaction. "...I spent a while with Asgore this afternoon."

They regretted it immediately when they saw her smile disappear. She already knew where they'd been, but it was evident that she didn't like it one bit. They could spot the disapproval in her face a mile away. Apparently they couldn't make it through a single conversation without downing buttercups and ruining everything.

"I see," Toriel said slowly. Her voice picked up a hint of anger, though Chara could tell it wasn't directed at them. "Did he perturb you in any way? Did he say something he shouldn't have?"

"No!" They said it too hurriedly, perhaps in too harsh a tone, and they winced. "What I mean is... it is the opposite. We chatted some, and then we worked in his garden for a while. It was nice. It made me feel a lot better."

After all this time with Frisk, Chara had become quite an expert on being at war with oneself. Toriel's face betrayed an ongoing civil war between her love and her bitterness. Fittingly, love prevailed, and an only slightly forced smile returned to her snout.

"...good," she said finally, a bit stiffly. "If it helped put you at ease, that is all that matters."

There was an awkward silence at the table. Toriel was the one to break it after some time.

"I... did not realize gardening was something you enjoyed. I don't have what some would call a 'green thumb,' but if you like, we could find something here to grow..."

"That might be nice..." Chara replied. "But... it's not really the gardening I like."

"Ah. I see." Toriel's tone came out perhaps a bit more curtly than she intended. She glanced guiltily to the side. "...apologies. You are more forgiving than I am. I... should not be as surprised as I am."

_"I mean, if we refused to make friends with anyone who killed us a few times, we wouldn't have many friends," _Frisk said. _"Or a Mom."_

_"I've been killed by every Dreemurr,"_ Chara replied with a grim humor. _"Including myself. Do I get an achievement for this?"_

It was a dark remark, but Frisk laughed quietly at it anyway. There came a point in every time-traveling teenager's life at which gallows humor became the usual way to handle bad memories. While Chara unfortunately couldn't get in the mood for it themself right now, it was still worth it to have amused Frisk. They turned their attention back to Toriel.

She was nodding, her eyes taking on a sheen as though she were somewhere else entirely. "Of course..." she said, barely more than whispering. Her voice had an unpleasant crack to it. "...he and... Chara used to stay in the garden for hours. Not talking much. Just... being."

The silence over the table grew yet darker. A heavy feeling tugged at Chara's chest like an iron weight. They found themself mumbling an apology for bringing those memories up again.

"No!" Toriel said quickly, snapped from her memories. "No, you did nothing wrong, my child. I just have old memories eating at me once again."

"Bad memories," they mumbled. "I'm sorry I keep reminding you of them."

Toriel smiled weakly. This was different than her forced smile at the mention of Asgore. It was full of pain, much like the one Chara so often wore, but... it was genuine at the same time.

"Frisk, you did nothing wrong. You remind me of my child. It hurts to remember them, but that does not mean for a _moment_ that I would rather forget them."

They couldn't smile upon hearing that. Chara frowned, trying and failing so hard to understand.

"But..." They picked their words with care and agony. "...I'm sure they wouldn't want you to hurt yourself by thinking about them. Wouldn't it... wouldn't it be better to just forget them?"

Toriel shook her head slowly. "Of course not, Frisk. No more than I would forget you if the unthinkable were to happen."

That weak smile endured as she continued in the tone of a teacher. "I believe it was a human who said something I think about often—he said _'The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.'_ To me, it means to remember that loss only hurts us when we had something truly precious before. How foolish it would be to forget something so wonderful over a little pain."

Chara struggled to keep their voice from cracking. "They were... that precious to you? Even though they..."

Even though they killed themself, they didn't say. Even though they killed her _real _son in the process. Even though they'd ruined so many lives.

"Nothing could sour my memory of them. Not even knowing of the pain they were going through that I was too blind to see." Full of love and concern she leaned across the table to squeeze their hand. "They were precious to me, Frisk, as are the memories I still have. As are you. Please don't forget that."

A warm gratitude surged in their chest. They felt it in double, their partner taking the words to heart at the same time. They weren't sure how to respond, but neither did Toriel make them feel they needed to. She leaned back in her seat, a faint nostalgic smile on her snout.

"You would have gotten along well with them," she continued. Her tone had gone quiet and wistful. "As well as with their brother. Sweet Asriel... the two of them were fast friends right from the start, and I have no doubt that you would have fit right in with them. I can almost see you in my mind's eye—a happy trio playing in the garden."

"That... would have been nice," Chara said, a mix of strange feelings swirling in their stomach. Frisk squeezed their left hand in encouragement, and they appreciated it dearly.

_"We did all play together, once," _Frisk mused. _"Except not in a garden."_

_"You think of that as playing?"_ Chara said, recalling the incident. It was, after all this time, still one of the most vivid memories they had. One of the most important, too. _"The entire universe was at stake."_

_"C'mon, I heard you shouting out his attack names. 'Chaos Saber'? 'Star Blazing'? 'Hyper Goner'? You were into it."_

_"Heh... well... maybe a little. It brought back a lot of good memories."_

_"I guess I was a little into it too. I mean, getting disintegrated wasn't fun, but the rainbows were pretty. You take the good with the bad, you know?"_

Toriel seemed to take their outward silence as a lack of interest, chuckling in embarrassment.

"Ah... but my nostalgia is truly running wild today, isn't it? Forgive me. I must be boring you to tears."

"Not at all," Chara said quickly. "I... I think we would have gotten along too."

A faint smile crossed their expression. Half theirs and half Frisk's. Half out of joy and half out of grief.

"Like best friends."

No one talked much the rest of the meal. But then, none of the three at the table really felt the need.


	7. Your Best Partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue will be posted tomorrow, breaking from typical posting schedule and ending the work.
> 
> I hope to see you there.

The rest of the evening was... normal. They'd dutifully done the dishes after dinner—it had long been decided that doing this chore was well worth not getting boss monster fur stuck in the drain, and it wasn't exactly onerous to clean for two people anyway. Sharing a body halved the amount of dishes and laundry on their part, which made it a bizarrely economical arrangement in some ways. Frisk laughed at the observation.

They'd bidden Toriel good night with another tight hug, and, for the first time that day, she seemed to be treating them like nothing was wrong. This couldn't be further from the truth. But it felt nice regardless.

They slowly got ready for bed, Chara going through the same routine they'd watched from the backseat hundreds of times over the past two years.

Frisk was quiet for a while, seeming to need a while to put their thoughts into words. Chara didn't try to rush them. The conversation at dinner had exacted a heavy emotional toll on the both of them, and... they wouldn't be able to easily put today into words either.

_"I'd ask if you had a good day," _Frisk said finally. _"But I already know you did."_

Chara rolled their eyes in front of the mirror, but it was with a certain fondness.

_"All things considered, it was... nice. We didn't die from the fish tacos, so I have little to complain about."_

_"Eh, I figured we could trust Sans. He's too lazy to kill us."_

They shared a soft laugh, before Frisk continued with a somewhat more serious tone. _"You know... Asgore and Toriel really liked seeing you."_

Chara felt uncomfortable. This had been the one thing that ate at them more than anything else today. The cruelty inherent in their happy-go-lucky joyride through Frisk's life. _"I hurt them so badly by leaving. And I reminded them of all the pain they felt just by being myself today."_

_"C'mon, you're being mean to yourself. Happy tears, remember? And remember what Toriel said?"_

There was little they could say to that, finding themself guiltily unable to make eye contact with their reflection. _"...yes. I remember."_

Frisk was also silent for a bit longer, a feeling of anxiety welling up in them. _"...I'm not gonna nag you about it, 'cause it's your choice, but... if you ever _do _decide to let us tell them about you... you know, the _whole_ truth about you... they won't be mad."_

For the past two years they'd always given a flat no at the suggestion. Today they took a moment before slowly shaking their head.. _"I... I can't, Frisk. Toriel _says _her love is unconditional, but she won't even forgive Asgore. She knew him way longer than she knew me."_

_"That's... different," _Frisk said cautiously, picking their words with care._ "We forgave him, but he... well... he gained a lot of LV."_

_"I would have too if Asriel hadn't..."_

They trailed off, not letting themself go down that line of thinking. It was too painful in so many ways. They clenched their eyes shut, breathing raggedly as the memories threatened to invade their space.

It was like they were there again. In the body of an angelic boss monster, their own corpse held in their arms, feeling Asriel in their mind as surely as they could feel Frisk today.

Weapons. Pain. Screaming. Fighting Asriel for control. Begging him to fight back, trying _desperately _to wrest control of their limbs and their magic away from him. But they wouldn't, couldn't win. They'd had the willpower to kill themself slowly and painfully all week, but they _couldn't _win this fight.

Dying. Dragging themselves back home. Smiling... the one thing he was allowing Chara to control. Smiling the pain away. All they were good for in the end.

Their SOULs shattered. They both died for nothing.

_"Chara."_ Frisk's voice was soft but shattering, a shot of reality that pulled them abruptly back to the present. _"Breathe..."_

They obeyed the command, breathing in and out, focusing on the breath and the voice that they heard.

_"It's okay..." _Frisk continued gently._ "We're fine. You're fine."_

Chara exhaled shakily, their vision blurry. _"No... no I'm not."_

_"Yes, you are. You're right here with me. Mom's just down the hall. You're fine-"_

_"_He's_ not!"_

That brought a stunned silence from Frisk before a slow understanding filled them. Understanding and a distinctly miserable feeling of their own.

_"...oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."_

_"Fine. I mean... it's fine. You didn't say anything wrong."_

Chara stuck to their slow breathing, focusing in on it, taking another minute to make sure they didn't drift into those bad memories. Frisk waited patiently.

The memories didn't drag them back under. But they were a long way from gone. So was the hopeful mood they'd left dinner with.

_"...y'know,"_ Frisk said suddenly, _"I'm not really tired. Wanna take a stroll? It's been a while."_

They considered that for a moment before slowly nodding their head. _"That sounds nice. We still have our spot."_

They listened intently for their mother's footsteps and the gentle closing of her bedroom door to confirm she wouldn't be double checking on them tonight, and quietly, expertly slid open their window and slipped out. They'd done it before—or rather, Frisk had done it before and Chara had tagged along with snarky commentary. They never went any further than their special spot.

There was a pleasant area of un-owned woods around Toriel's home—well, undoubtedly _some _wealthy human with too much land owned it, but if so they were miles away and had no presence here. It was a nice place to walk. Spacious and yet cozy. Secluded yet open. Foreboding but welcoming. Perfect for a creepy teenager.

Better yet there was a nice tree here with a hell of a view from the top. Sometimes they'd climb it and simply sit there for a while, getting away from the rest of this wild, chaotic world and all the damage they'd caused to it. Well, that was Chara's reasoning. They were sure Frisk was a little more well-adjusted when it came to their tree.

They grabbed a branch and tried to pull themself up. They almost immediately lost their grip and fell down on their butt. It hurt, but their pride was hit worse than their HP—Frisk felt more amused than anything else. Re-steadying themself they made another try, and again couldn't quite make it up.

Damn. This wasn't as easy as it felt like when Frisk did it. After another couple of failed tries they addressed the voice in their head.

_"Alright, fine. Take us up there."_

_"How about I walk you through it?" _Frisk suggested instead. _"It's easy."_

_""I will just fall again."_

_"Nah, 'cause this time you'll have me! C'mon, Chara, stay determined!"_

They sighed. _"Alright..."_

_"Okay, so you'll wanna grab onto _that _spot right there, closer to the base..."_

With Frisk guiding them step by step, branch by branch, it didn't take long to reach their usual spot in a nice little crook up the tree. A comfortable place just the right size for them, at just the right height to catch the cool country breeze in their face.

And honestly, it felt kind of nice to have done it together. Almost as nice as the view.

The view.

They could see Mt. Ebott from here. They could _just _make it out as a dark shape against the starry sky, a shadow that loomed over this whole part of the country. It was one of the very few things that looked exactly the same in Frisk's time as it had in Chara's. Having seen it every day growing up was another something they shared as surely as their dreams and their bruised tailbone.

It was beautiful. Their early memories weren't _all_ bad, then. Just... most of them.

Like Frisk, they hadn't found real happiness until they'd climbed the mountain. It had been such a short-sighted decision for both of them. They'd both picked death while completely oblivious to the beautiful civilization beneath their feet. The Underground had saved them both.

The surreal parallels kept coming. The first person they'd both encountered had been Asriel Dreemurr, albeit under vastly different circumstances. They'd both stayed for a time at a Dreemurr family residence. They'd both, little by little, realized they were the only one who could save monsterkind. That they could repay the Underground for saving _them._

That was where it ended. Frisk had succeeded. Chara's failure had been so absolute that it still caused pain and misery to this day. They destroyed the very family who took them in.

Frisk was the reason monsterkind lived on the surface in peace and harmony with humanity. They were the reason they went to school with human and monster kids alike. They were the reason the future had hope.

Chara was the reason Toriel and Asgore lived apart when they'd been so inseparable back then. They were the reason six unknown humans had been murdered out of bitter vengeance. They were the reason Toriel obsessed over Frisk's mental health. They were the reason their first and best friend was living the cursed un-life of a SOULless flower in the very caves the rest of his kind had been freed from.

_"...Chara?"_ Frisk's voice was careful but concerned. _"I'm getting the feeling you're being mean to yourself again."_

_"It is that obvious?"_ They gave a forlorn sigh, staring dismally off at the mountain. _"Apologies. You must be thinking of how ungrateful I am. I get to borrow your perfect life for a day, and I'm miserable nonetheless."_

_"No, of course not." _Frisk sounded upset, their playful demeanor from a minute ago long gone. Chara started to realize they'd been too embroiled in their own self-pity to have realized Frisk's feelings had been every bit as dismal as theirs. _"l'm just... frustrated. Not at you! This time. It's just... this isn't _perfect_ at all!"_

Chara frowned. _"What do you mean? You have friends and family. You are the hero of all monsterkind. You saved everyone-"_

_"Not everyone." _Frisk's words took a moment to sink in, but they were already starting to ramble in the way they did when they were truly upset. _"I _wanted_ to save everyone. I wanted to make up for everything I did the first time—I wanted to make sure _everyone_ was happy. And I almost did! I came so close!"_

_"Frisk-"_

_"I tried SO hard to save Asriel. But there was nothing I could do. He turned into that _thing _again and there's nothing I can do about it!"_

_"That isn't your fault," _Chara insisted, feeling pained. _"I am the reason he is like that. I would have done _anything_ to bring him back, but-"_

_"And you!"_

Chara went quiet.

_"I wanted to save you! I poked around Alphys' lab, I poked around Sans' shed, I tried to look for something, anything that might get you a body back. But I failed at that too!"_

_"Is that what you were trying to do? Frisk, I—I gave up on _that_ a long time ago. It is neither your fault nor your responsibility that I-"_

_"I just want you to be happy!"_

Now they both went quiet, Frisk still an emotional mess and Chara at a loss for words. They sat in the tree for a little bit longer before Frisk sniffed, speaking again with a heavy internal voice.

_"...sorry," _they said finally. _"I just... I know you're not happy up here with me. Some days I can tell you're spending every minute trying not to cry, and I can't help but feel like... like I couldn't save either of you. There were only two people in the whole Underground who actually understood me, and I couldn't save _either _of them. And if they don't deserve to be happy..."_

Then why should they? Frisk didn't finish the thought, but they didn't need to. Chara felt the exact same way about having left Asriel behind to become a flower again. They'd have stayed there with him if they could have, if only because a life on the surface with Frisk was so much more than they deserved.

But this wasn't about them. This was about Frisk.

_"Hey," _Chara said awkwardly. _"I wish we could have done more for him too. You know I do. But if it's me you're worried about..."_

They took a deep breath, trying... and largely failing... to find a way to phrase themself that didn't embarrass them to their core.

_"...when we spend time together, I don't feel for a second like you failed to save me. It's the opposite. You saved me even though I didn't deserve it. You brought me up here to live with you, to share your experience. You're just... _that_ unbelievably good."_

They felt a slight warm glow at that, but it was quickly replaced by guilt. Shame, even.

_"I know you mean that,"_ Frisk said shakily. _"But... you should know better than to think of me like that. I'm not that good. We both remember that."_

Chara was quiet_. _The memories of Asriel and their first and second deaths were all theirs, but there were plenty of other bad memories that they shared with Frisk. They could tell the exact same memories were playing in both of their heads right now.

Monsters turning into dust, flowing through their fingers as though they hadn't been alive and magical mere moments ago. Wielding an empty gun like a club while darting from tunnel to tunnel in the CORE, terrified out of their wits. Undyne's body...

Mom's SOUL shattering before their eyes. Frisk sobbing hysterically, crying over and over that it was an accident. That they hadn't meant to get that mad. They hadn't meant to...

It was hard. But Chara pulled themself back to the present. They sensed Frisk was having a harder time doing the same, so they tried to pull them back with a calm, collected tone.

_"Frisk. None of that happened."_

They felt tears stinging at their eyes, and this time they didn't think they were their own. Frisk's voice was shaky.

_"B-But it did. We undid it, but it still—and I still do it! I don't hit people, but I get so... angry, and I say what I don't mean... and I'm selfish. It's been two years, Chara! How can you say I 'saved' you when it's been two years and this is the first day I've ever let you have a turn?"_

Chara felt the tears running down their cheeks. Their breathing was picking up involuntarily, their vision going blurry.

No, not this feeling, not this feeling, not this feeling...

_"Frisk... Frisk. Calm down. We are not a child. Stop crying!"_

_"I'm s-sorry, I'm trying, I try not to bring this up with you 'cause I know I-I'll get like this..."_

Their voice died off, their face contorting in an effort to fight back the tears. The emotions were still there, raging, hurting, battering against the thin walls separating their psyche like a hurricane against a glass window. _This_ was what had been building all day—no, for two years.

All of a sudden Chara felt furious. Not at Frisk. Not at the world. It was a targeted fury towards themself. Even when they were trying their best to be loving, their worst attributes would rear their ugly head to ruin everything.

Were they _that _blind, that they couldn't see this? Were they _that _stupid, that they'd repeat the same mistakes they'd made with Asriel?

Were they _that _cruel?

They spoke again. This time out loud. It was only a whisper, but coming through their choked voice from out of the quiet, it was almost deafening.

"F-Frisk...it's okay."

The storm didn't subside, but they felt Frisk's surprised attention from the midst of it. They never spoke out loud to one another... if only for the pragmatic reason that people would think they were insane. But it felt important right here and right now.

"It's o-okay," they repeated shakily. "Just... let it out."

_"But... you..." _Frisk stammered, sounding hurt and confused. _"You just said-"_

"I know what I said... and what I always say. J-Just pretend I'm not here, alright?"

They felt their voice cracking. Tears running down their face. A ragged sob forcing its way up their throat. This time they tried not to fight it, nor to stop their hands from flying up to cover their face.

They just cried. They let the sobs come out of them. They remained quiet as Frisk worked their way through it.

After everything... after all the support they'd gotten from them today... the _least _they could do was allow them this.

Emotions raged and their face became grubby and wet with tears. Their own memories flashed through their mind, and before long it was starting to seem like they were sharing their tears like they shared everything else.

For a short while everything broke down; their defenses, their barriers, their very selves. Just a broken human crying in the woods. But eventually they found themselves again, as they always did. Their emotions grew more distinct; Frisk's guilt became theirs and Chara's became theirs; the misery Frisk felt grew separate from the hollow grief that Chara knew so well.

_"S-Sorry,"_ Frisk said finally, voice choked even in their own mind. _"Today was supposed to be all about you, a-and... here I am at the very end, making it all about me. You d-don't have to let me do that."_

_"It's okay,"_ Chara said softly. They surprised themself with their own tone. They spoke internally again, out of fear that they'd break down again if they tried to use their real voice, but on the inside they were managing the consoling tone that they meant. The consoling tone that they should have been using with their partner all along, if they had any more emotional awareness than a bacterium. _"It's really okay, Frisk. Today isn't about either of us. We're both miserable creatures from day to day, and... and we should be there for each other. It is truly pathetic that I have shirked that responsibility so often."_

_"You haven't-"_

_"I haven't even been a voice of comfort when we share nightmares,"_ Chara interrupted, voice firm. Their lips twitched into a miserable smile, their eyes stinging._"That bothered you more than my bossiness, didn't it? That's the real reason you exploded at me and started all of this."_

Frisk's silence at that told them everything. They closed their eyes, sucking in a shaky, barely controlled breath.

_"Listen,"_ Chara said finally. They put a deliberate note of command into their voice, and they could feel Frisk obey. _"This is going to be sappy and it isn't going to help much. But I am going to say it anyway."_

They took another breath, less shaky this time, more sure of themself. They were discussing the one thing in life they _were _sure of.

_"You are a _great_ person, Frisk."_

Warmth. Guilt. Affection. Doubt. Frisk's emotions were an open book, especially in such a raw state. Even more certain their input was needed, Chara continued.

_"Most humans would probably never even consider sharing their body with a ghost. You didn't just consider it. You demanded it."_

_"A-After two whole years..."_

_"I never asked for control. I had no right to ask. I was content to be the bossy voice in your head, and you put up with a lot more of that from me than you deserved."_

_"You make yourself sound so awful," _Frisk muttered. _"B-But it's never been like that, no matter what I said when I got mad. I like having you with me. You're my best friend."_

_"And... you're mine," _Chara admitted. They felt tight in the chest, barely able to keep going. They continued. _"No... that's not even it. You're something really special to me, Frisk. You're someone who makes mistakes, like me, but you _always_ do your best to fix them. I admire you _so_ much for that. If it weren't for you I... I would probably still be rooting for the extinction of my own species. In my eyes you redeemed all humanity."_

_"...I... you've seen the kind of person I've been, Chara. You were _there_. You _saw_."_

_"Frisk... I have been with you every single step of the way. I remember every step you took since you first fell down, and every last reset. I see everything that you see. I feel everything that you feel. I hear everything you say and most of what you don't. So please... listen to me when I say..."_

They were hugging themself tightly, hands squeezing their own shoulders in a desperate gesture.

_"...you are _full _of love, Frisk. You're amazing. And... though I _know_ I haven't done a good job at making you realize it... I want you to know that when you look in the mirror, there's someone there who loves you more than anything. They want you to love yourself, too."_

Silence. Frisk's emotions were reeling, like everything had been set spinning around them. Chara couldn't tell what they were feeling now. They could barely tell what they _themself _were feeling right now. They'd said exactly what they wanted, what they _needed _to say, but at the same time it made them feel so...

Raw. Vulnerable. Exposed. Unsafe. They _hated _pouring their heart out. They _hated _feeling weak. They _hated _not smiling.

But they hated hurting their loved ones more, and today had been a reminder of just how many people they'd put through hell. They couldn't let Frisk join their number. Not any more than they already were.

Suddenly they were shaken from their own spinning world by the sensation of their own hand reaching upwards to softly touch them on the cheek. They opened their eyes in surprise, feeling a strange affection in the touch. Frisk's feelings were coming sharper into focus.

Gratitude. Happiness. Awkwardness.

Love.

If only Mom and Dad could see them now. A weird teenager sitting alone in a tree, cupping their own face in their hand with clear, almost romantic affection, smiling at nothing. They must look so goddamn creepy.

But it _felt_... nice. Really, really nice.

_"...despite all that,"_ Chara said after a long while, _"You're still a bit of a freak."_

_"H-Ha..."_ Frisk's voice was weak and their shared cheeks were hot. _"So are you then, 'cause you like it."_

For once Chara found it hard to argue with them.

_"But, uh..."_ Frisk's voice remained quiet and serious. _"...you're wrong."_

Chara blinked before feeling a sinking sensation. Frisk amended themself quickly.

_"What I mean is... you said it'd be sappy and it wouldn't help. But you're wrong. It did help. It helped a lot."_

_"...ah." _They still felt awkward to have laid themself so bare. But not as much as they thought they would. After all. It was Frisk. It was silly to feel vulnerable with Frisk, wasn't it? _"It was the least I could do. You've been here for me all day."_

_"Maybe we should try to be there for each other a little more. It's not exactly like it's inconvenient to hit each other up."_

_"Not at all." _They pondered the day behind them; the way Frisk had backed them in everything, and how close to being genuinely _happy _they'd become. They weren't quite there. There was still so much heartbreak surrounding them, so much unresolved misery in the lives they wanted so desperately to be a part of again. But they were close to being happy again; it was within reach. They just needed a little help reaching it.

_"Frisk," _they said slowly. _"I want to work for a happier ending."_

_"I'm with you."_

_"I know you are. Silly, sentimental thing that you are."_ They could tell Frisk was the one blushing from that. _"Not tomorrow, but starting soon, I want to start reaching out to people. I... I want to be honest with my family that I'm still alive. Whatever happens. Isn't it pathetic that I let that weirdo skeleton be the first person to catch on?"_

_"Not pathetic, but definitely weird."_

_"Indeed." _They closed their eyes in thought, hand still on their own cheek, savoring the company in their head. They breathed out a sigh. _"I feel like we will have made a sizable step forward just by opening up to each other more often. There is no good reason for us to bottle everything up until we become the world's first solitary human being in need of couple's therapy."_

Frisk laughed at the joke before trailing off with a strange new sensation. Chara cocked their head, wondering—and worrying—what it was they said.

_"What? Did I say something wrong?"_

_"Nah. Just, uh... you kinda just called us a couple."_

_"Oh." _Damn it. They didn't know they could blush any more than they already had today. _"It was—I mean it was simply a choice of—listen, technically speaking, we may never so much as hold hands but we're still more intimate than any married couple. It just seemed like an apt comparison."_

_"Now you just said we were intimate..."_

_"Of COURSE we... gah... we're having a moment out here. Don't make it weird."_

_"I'm not!" _Frisk's side of the mind, though having been gloomy most of their time out here, was taking on a mischievous streak. _"...though I mean... if you think about it, it's kinda scandalous that you sneak out late to be with another teenager in the woods..."_

_"I am done talking to you. Let's go to bed."_

_"Whoah! Chara, you're going too fast for me."_

_"I—UGH. You're a deviant, Frisk."_

_"So are you 'cause you loooove me."_

_"...maybe I am. Come on."_

It didn't take them long to climb down and head for home, easily sneaking back in through the window and quietly getting ready for bed. There were a lot of emotions bouncing back and forth in their heads, and it was _exhausting. _

They were exhausted all the time, come to think of it. They carried _so much _baggage with them wherever they went; _so much _unresolved pain and strife. It was bound to bring them down eventually. In a way they were fortunate they were so firmly held together. It'd be impossible to carry these burdens alone.

_Alright," _Chara said finally as they settled themself under the covers. _"Are you ready to go to sleep and face Monday?"_

_"Mm hmm. Buuuuut... I want you to take the day after."_

_"I haven't agreed to that. I said I'd take one day."_

_"I know, and I'm not gonna refuse to get out of bed or anything. But I'm being serious. I want to share, so you need to know that it's yours if you want it. It's long past time we started taking turns."_

Chara quietly mulled it over. As much as they didn't want to claim so much of Frisk's life...

...well, that was the problem. They _did _want to claim that much life for themself. Today had felt freeing, even intoxicatingly so. It had been such a long time since it was _them _breathing, since it was _them _choosing the right words to say next. Since they'd actually _wanted _to live.

_"...three days," _they said finally. _"I will take three days a week. No more."_

Frisk considered this. _"But also no less," _they said, almost business-like. Chara nodded.

_"Then it is agreed. You will give me your Tuesday, your Thursday, and your Sunday. And, in return, I will never again rush you or argue over how you spend your time."_

_"No, don't promise that," _Frisk said. Something in their tone made Chara feel like the words would physically be accompanied by a fake pout. _"It just won't feel the same if we never bicker at all."_

_"Ha ha," _they replied, sarcastic but amused._ "Very well then. I will _cut down _on arguing with you. And on my days you will be expected to loudly disagree with as many of my decisions as you please."_

_"Deal," _Frisk said happily. Then, a moment later, a little more quietly, _"I'm excited for this, Chara. I hope you are too."_

_"...I am," _they said, perhaps a little shyly. They had to stifle a yawn, their long, emotionally and physically complex day starting to take its toll. They felt a similar exhaustion from Frisk.

_"Then g'night, Chara. Sweet dreams."_

_"Likewise. Good night, Frisk."_

They were quiet, rolling into a comfortable position and letting the silence of the room slowly take them to sleep.

Frisk's voice interrupted the silence again.

_"...and by the way, the first thing we're doing tomorrow is having a LONG bath, 'cause you got dirt and pollen ALL OVER us."_

_"Good NIGHT, Frisk."_

_"Ha ha... I love you too."_


	8. Our Life

The human woke up in a panic, and neither voice in their head was far behind the other.

They bolted upright, shared muscles primed to bolt, heart pounding from behind their SOUL.

There'd never been a time in either of their lives when nightmares like these hadn't plagued them. Their lives were a picture book of horrors, and their memories both shared and personal were an open archive of imagery for their nightmares to pick from. That had never slowed down; not when they joined together; not when they left the Underground two years ago; not when they committed to sharing their experience on the surface two weeks ago. If anything this nightmare, with its crushing blackness and grasping pale hands, had only become more frequent as time went on.

But they didn't face it alone.

_"H-Hey."_ It was Chara's voice, followed by a gentle touch against the side of their own face. _"It's... it's fine. We're safe. It was only a bad dream."_

They kept soothing for a moment. Usually one of them or the other would pull themself out of the flashback first, and it was their responsibility to reach a hand out for their partner. Today that fell on Chara. They did their best to approach it more gently than they once had, knowing tomorrow they could very well be depending on Frisk to make it out of bed.

Frisk's mind, the shadow on the far wall of their mind, slowly grew more distinct, sharper and more aware of their surroundings.

_"We're safe," _Frisk repeated shakily. _"We're safe."_

_"It's all behind us. There are nothing but good things today."_

_"Y-Yeah."_ Frisk brightened, the sunny room, the soft hand against their cheek, and the consoling tone managing to tug them from the worst of the morning panic. _"Thanks, Chara."_

_"Thanks are not required. You do the same thing for me." _They were quiet for a moment, before pressing on. It still felt awkward to reach out so... emotionally, but they knew now how important it was. _"Are you going to be alright, or should we take a few minutes?"_

_"I... think I'll be fine from here. Thanks." _

They felt a wave of affection rolling across their divided mind, and relished the feeling. They'd been so cold to Frisk before; it was almost painful now to think about how much they'd both suffered in silence from things they could have been supporting each other through. They knew Frisk was feeling the same affection returned back to them... and promptly felt Frisk's love take on a familiar mischievous streak.

_"Kiss."_

Chara fell backwards in bed with a groan, rolling their eyes so hard it almost hurt. _"Oh my God. Didn't I tell you to stop saying that?"_

_"~You di-id, but I'm not gon-na," _Frisk returned in a sing-song tone. Chara felt their cheeks redden, which only intensified the playful affection bubbling up in their partner. They didn't have it in them to be genuinely annoyed. When they woke up terrified this was exactly what they both needed, and they both knew it.

_"It's ridiculous," _they shot back. _"I am not going to say it."_

_"Not my fault we've only got one mouth," _Frisk retorted. _"We've gotta take the next best thing. C'mon. Kiiiiiiss."_

Chara closed their eyes, wondering if their cheeks were glowing hotly enough to catch anything on fire by now.

_"Kiss," _they said back, dying instantly to the combined heat and hilarity they felt from Frisk. Ugh, weren't cute couple things embarrassing enough when they _weren't _a fine line away from schizophrenia?

Despite that thought, and despite continuing to tease Frisk for the dumb custom they'd started as they got ready for their day trip, they were getting out of bed happy. Which, despite being two years into their 'happy ending,' was only just recently becoming the norm.

* * *

Mt. Ebott was not a long drive away; distance was the very last of the things that kept the remaining Dreemurrs from making it more than a monthly trip. It was only a half hour drive up crooked country roads that sloped ever upward, through ancient dense forests and past the occasional overgrown frames of long-abandoned villages.

Toriel said little as they made the drive, and Chara said even less. To their gratitude Frisk chose not to press them for anything; they knew their partner had grown up in one of these old villages and knew from shared midnight terrors that the memories were not to be revisited. They just squeezed their own hand, and seemed content with the affectionate appreciation they got in return.

Finally they reached one of the several entrances to the Underground, now overgrown and half forgotten despite the historical plaques set up around it. Even since the reintegration began humans had largely avoided this mountain out of superstition, and few monsters held any desire to revisit it. The Underground had truly gone empty... or at least, almost empty. Toriel parked in a small clearing a little ways from the cave's opening and got out with a strange sigh.

"Alright... are you ready, my child?"

"Ready." Chara was already out of the car, shuffling their backback against their shoulders and taking a deep breath. This wasn't the first time they'd returned to the Underground—it had been Frisk's monthly ritual over the past couple of years as well. But this was different, and not just because they were the one steering this time.

"Then let us be off. Honestly, it is amazing how little has changed..."

And it was. There were a few more openings into the Underground now, apparently because the Barrier had been partially supporting a few areas of the ceiling from caving in on top of the the expanses below. Neither Chara nor Frisk really understood how that was supposed to work, since kids and garbage could pass through the top side of the Barrier just fine, but Alphys and various TV geologists had sounded pretty confident about it so whatever. It also meant there were more convenient openings into the Ruins that you didn't have to leap into at life-threatening heights.

Soon they were walking familiar paths across purple tiled rooms, the shadows of ancient buildings looming over them like the stalactites.

"Sometimes it feels like just yesterday I was walking you through these halls, Frisk," Toriel said, an odd note of nostalgia to her voice. "Oh! Those switches! Remember flipping those switches?"

_"I remember flipping the wrong one," _Frisk mused.

_"I remember you being impressively fast at being wrong," _Chara teased. They smiled at their mother, speaking out loud.

"How could I forget?"

Toriel seemed happy. She smiled at familiar sights, at pillars, switches, and vines that had become the closest things to friends she'd had for a hundred years. As miserable as she'd been here, it seemed to have a familiarity that made her smile.

That smile remained on her snout as they reached their first destination, but it was the sad smile of a mother who'd buried too many children. They arrived at a patch of golden flowers where everything had begun so long ago. They were all respectfully quiet as they approached the grave; they didn't pester their mother as she stood and contemplated the patch of earth, solemnly paying her respects.

The golden flowers were as meticulously well-kept as they'd been on every other visit. Toriel had long since given up on questioning why that was, at least at loud, and neither Chara nor Frisk had ever wondered. They knew _exactly _who was down here taking care of the flowers. They thus knew this was the one place they were _guaranteed _to get his attention.

Chara waited for Toriel to start sniffing, their cue to come closer and put a gentle arm around her. She hugged them in turn, still smiling even as the tears dripped down onto the stone and soil.

They felt guilty as always about seeing her in pain, but knew it wouldn't last long. Today they were taking their first steps towards revealing the truth to everyone. They were going to tell Toriel and Asgore both that the fourth Dreemurr was still alive, but before they did that... there was someone who deserved the truth from them more than anyone else. They needed to leave a message for their best friend.

"Mom," Chara said quietly. "Would it be alright if I paid some respects?"

Toriel blinked, but nodded at once, wiping away her tears. "Of course, my child. I am... certain they would appreciate it."

Chara knelt down by the patch of flowers, shrugging off their backpack and pulling out a small bouquet of hand-picked flowers Asgore had happily lent them from his garden. They made sure the bouquet was perfectly formed and lowered it gently to rest among the golden flowers.

_"Think he'll see it?"_ Frisk asked thoughtfully. _"The note's kinda tucked in there."_

_"I don't want Toriel to notice it. It would raise a number of awkward questions if she were to read it. Questions I'm not _quite _ready to answer." _Chara frowned in consideration before making a small adjustment, putting one single flower in the bouquet out of order. The one who'd so dedicatedly kept this grave site for the past two years would feel compelled to fix it, and when he did, he'd find the note.

They half hoped that he wouldn't. But being happy wasn't always comfortable. Being happy took work. It took owning up to past mistakes and putting an end to years' worth of dishonesty.

It took reaching out to the people they'd hurt. They would do that; they would tell absolutely _everyone. _But they had to start somewhere, and it was only right and proper that they start with _him._

* * *

The Queen and the Idiot _finally _turned to leave the cavern. Only then did one of the golden flowers open his eyes.

Frisk had been... different today. So very, very different and familiar all at once. The way they spoke, smiled, and walked away dug up old memories that stirred him to his hollow core.

Was he falling prey to old delusions?

They'd left a bouquet... that was new. He liked new.

But after all the effort of arranging a bouquet they'd went and left one of the flowers askew. Typical. He extended a vine to fix it, causing a small, folded note to fall out.

He froze, eyes narrowing. They'd left a note? What could Frisk have to say to the bones in this grave? Something so private and important they'd hidden it among the flowers where the Queen couldn't see?

He read it immediately.

* * *

_Greetings._

_Do you recognize my handwriting? I would imagine not. It's changed a lot since we were trading crayons back and forth._

_I imagine I have your attention now._

_Flowey._

_ Asriel. _

_It's me, Chara. I'm on the surface with Frisk. We're sharing a body, a bit like you and I did once upon a time. It's been this way since Frisk first fell. I wanted to tell you back when you destroyed the Barrier, but..._

_...I think you know how it is._

_I wasn't the greatest person when we were last together. I'm not the greatest now, either. But I am changing. Frisk is changing. I'm sure you are changing too._

_It destroys me to talk to Mom and Dad again, but it means the world to me nonetheless. I'm sure that talking to you would be even more so. If you think you would feel the same way, then..._

_Please come to the surface. I think we have a lot to talk about._

* * *

_"How are you feeling?"_ Frisk asked quietly. Chara wasn't sure how to answer that, following behind Toriel at a snail's pace some paces away. She was already moving briskly towards the other end of the Underground, another bunch of flowers ready to leave at Asriel's grave. Chara held a similar bunch in Frisk's hands, though there was no note in this one. If As...

If Flowey wanted to hear any more from them, he'd have to do as their other note suggested and follow them to the surface.

The idea of him doing just that flooded them with both hope and horror.

_"I'm terrified," _they admitted finally, a cold pit in their stomach as they stewed over everything that could happen. _"What if he hates me?"_

_"No one keeps a grave garden for two years 'cause they hate someone," _Frisk assured them. _"He loves you. Even though it's not even POSSIBLE for him to love you, he still does."_

_"I... suppose. Still. There's no telling how he'll react."_

_"Then don't think about that," _Frisk said. _"We don't have any say over what he does. Today is about doing the best _we_ can to fix what we can. And that's what you did! You wrote that amazing note!"_

_"A part of me still wants to go tear that note to shreds," _they whispered quietly. Frisk seemed to understand.

_"I know. But I also know you don't _really_ want to do that, do you?"_

_"...no."_

_"I'm proud of you, Chara." _Frisk said it with such sincerity and love it'd be impossible to doubt them even if they weren't sharing a mind. _"We're finally working for that happy ending we talked about."_

_"And it started with arguing over algebra."_

_"Hey, everything's gotta start somewhere. How about we make today a new starting point?"_

_"I would like that a lot," _Chara said earnestly. _"And I think I see one up ahead."_

There was a golden point of light glowing with a radiant intensity on the path ahead. Toriel walked right past it without remark, not even noticing the sheer raw _energy _it exuded. Chara made an instinctual beeline for it as surely as a starving human would crawl for food.

They did this once a month, and had for two years now, because life and nightmares had taught them one thing. Nothing in life was promised. A single mistake could take _everything _from you.

They were lucky—impossibly, cosmically lucky in a way they would never deserve and could never pay the universe back for. The rules that could take away other people's lives no longer applied to them. With their shared determination they could make a safe point in time to fall back on... just in case.

It was a ritual that had required both of their cooperation from the very beginning. As best they could tell neither of them had the power required to do it on their own. They _had _to do it together.

Chara reached their hand out and grasped the light, feeling its power shining within their SOUL. It had a comforting quality to it. A warmth almost as familiar as the person they shared their head with. They found themself with a sincere smile on their lips, quietly addressing their partner.

_"Well? Will you do the honors?"_

_"Huh? Oh yeah! I should do that. Hold on."_

Chara waited patiently for a moment before Frisk's voice spoke again, taking a different tone. Their old narration game. Born of boredom, continued out of comfort, revisited out of love. Frisk imitated Chara's voice as they did so, which they found too endearing to even put words to.

_"The shadows of these old Ruins loom from behind like bad memories," _Frisk narrated. _"But you've gotten through them before, and you aren't revisiting them alone. Knowing that we'll continue through them together fills you—fills us—with determination."_

**FILE SAVED**

**Chara**

**LV 1**

**9999:99**

**Ruins Hallway**

**Continue**

That was that, then. Strange numbers and words flashed through their mind as time folded over them. They understood little of it; little except that they were safe now. They had a safe place to fall back to if the month didn't end well. Somehow though, with Frisk more generous and Chara less cold, that constant gnawing anxiety didn't feel so oppressing. In fact they found themself daring to hope for another good month.

_"How was that?"_ Frisk asked sheepishly, as they picked up the pace to catch up with their mother.

_"I have a few notes," _Chara said with a teasing tone. _"But overall... it was perfect, Frisk. I feel more determined than ever."_

_"Aww. Kiss?"_

_"Ugh, fine. Kiss."_

Warmth shone through their shared mind and SOUL, and they entered a relaxed pace as they walked behind Toriel across the length of these old memories.

They were both filled with determination.

They were both filled with the hope that came from not being alone.

Because despite everything. Whatever it was that brought them strife. Be it monsters or humans... nightmares or algebra... Chara themself or Frisk themself...

They could talk. They could reason. They could figure it out together.

It wasn't Frisk walking this path, and it wasn't Chara.

It was both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [If you are reading this note, I assume you have read this story to the end. With all of my sincerity. Thank you. =)](https://imgur.com/a/lltaOTF)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Starting to Heal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25687531) by [Kunabee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunabee/pseuds/Kunabee)
  * [I Don't Know How to Tell You This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26169871) by [CoramDeo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoramDeo/pseuds/CoramDeo)


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